talkee talkee, no more talkee

CRAP! i'm pretty sure, after some careful self-reflection, that i've determined... i talk too much. it's always been pretty clear that i like to talk. i started to talk pretty early; i spoke in full sentences pretty early; i caught unsuspecting elderly gentlemen off-guard as a toddler with my confident statements: "ooo! i really like your car!" ... and then in school and in church... you could always count on janaya to have something to say about whatever was being discussed. being one of a handful of mormon's in my highschool, i was always the first to tackle debates from a religious perspective. being one of a million mormon's in my university, i was always the first to say "you can't use 'well, nephi said...' to win an argument!" if there's an issue on the table, i'm going to jump on it... and talk it to death.

in recent years, i've tried to show restraint. i've taken the "interpersonal communications" classes in college. i've learned that listening is an important part of discussion. i've learned that you should seek to understand before you seek to be understood. i've learned all that. i've had moderate success with all that. but i've recently realized that one of the key ingredients to my disdain for people who talk too much is that it's taking away from MY talk time. CRAP!

and i think this problem is being fueled by my blog. because now, i am actually convinced that people WANT to hear the random stuff going on in my head. it's not like i'm necessarily "bragging" or "boasting" (had to look up the official definitions of those two words, just to be sure i'm being honest with myself about that)... it's just that i'm talking... talking... talking. about myself. what i'm thinking. what i've been doing. what's new in my "really interesting" life. most of the time, what i'm saying is actually unveiling how crazy and retarded i am... so it's not even like there's some benefit to my talking too much. :) i just like talking.

i guess actually, the reality is... i like discussing. i like a good heated discussion. but sometimes, i'll be mid-discussion and realize "holy crap! am i STILL talking?! shut up!"... so it's not even that i have a love of HEARING myself talk... i just can't stop. take church, for example. i LOVE teaching in church, because there's discussion... i HATE giving talks in church, because right around the 5 or 6 minute mark, i start to get annoyed with my own voice and i'm bored with just hearing myself. BUT... whatever the situation... i talk too much. and this has got to stop.

so, i'm committing to the world wide blogosphere... i will listen more. and talk less. unless i have something really good to say... then you'll just have to deal with it. :P

flip flop

due to recent events, i have changed my position on lindsay lohan. :)

Lindsay Lohan Arrested for DUI, Cocaine Possession
Released on $25,000 Bail

SANTA MONICA, July 24, 2007 (KABC-TV) - Just two weeks after completing a second rehab stint, actress Lindsay Lohan was arrested in Santa Monica early Tuesday on suspicion of drunken driving and cocaine possession.

bring it on anon!

i think there should be a way for people to just say whatever they want, to whom ever they want, whenever they want, and be as mean and rude and blunt as they want, without anyone ever knowing it was them who said it...

oh wait... there is. it's called "anonymous".

and i don't really think that. i HATE that as a matter of fact. i suppose that i understand the appeal of it. say what you want--maybe even something that really needs to be said--without any repercussions... but i think it's lame. and the reality is that i've rarely, if ever, had it happen to me... but it still urks me. i'm all about conflict... don't get me wrong. people should be able to say what they think. but if you don't have the guts to stamp your name on your thoughts, then it's probably worth rethinking... it's probably just a little too mean, just a little too narrow minded, just a little too heartless.

so... that's my ranting at 1:00 AM. mean people suck. and nice people who are mean because it's anonymous suck even more.

love JANAYA :)

(and for the record... i know some of my posts are mean... but they're funny... which makes it all ok...) :P

UPDATE: since it's morning, the sun is shining, it's a new day... i'm feeling like i should clarify. i do think "anonymous" is useful for an embarrasing comment and have no problems with that. in case it wasn't clear... my hatred is when it's used for evil purposes, like ripping on people! :) and just in case someone mistakes me for someone who is not sarcastic... i do not think being funny obsolves me of the responsibility to be nice. i'm just not very good at it.

lindsay lohan for president!

despite how lazy i've become about getting ready for my day... and walking no more than the 10 to 15 steps between the couch, the bathroom and my bedroom every day... i actually don't usually watch tv during the day. but this morning, i turned on the tube for a little "good morning america" which led to a little "regis and kelly" which led to a little "martha stewart" which then led to the "presidential news conference". now, i am actually working while these are going on in the background... just not to optimum efficiency.

anyway, i NEVER watch "martha stewart" because frankly she drives me crazy and i'm not crafty (at all), but this morning i happened to see a quick commercial promoting none other than lindsay lohan as her guest. i thought, "hmm, an ex-convict interviewing a strung out movie star who's had some experience with the LAPD herself... this should be interesting". so i watched. and about half way through the baking of cream puffs, i realized i was starting to like lindsay lohan. not because she was classy or well put together or putting on a good face, but because she was pretty dang real about herself. she was honest about things, she was funny, she was cute, (let's be honest... she's hot), and she was really not defensive in the least. and i started to feel guilty. was i actually thinking that this girl i've seen so much trash about on the news is a nice girl?! yes. i will admit it. yes. i like her. (i still hate martha stewart, for the record). lindsay's not winning any awards in my books for making good decisions, but she seemed pretty willing to admit her mistakes.

which is more than i can say for mr. president.

now, i'm not a bush-basher (though i have been known to poke fun at the man). i'm not a bush-fan either. i'm a canadian living in the united states with a greencard... so i'm CAREFUL! :) but frankly, i just can't listen to him talk. i think he's got a really tough job... one i would never want. and i don't have a definite opinion about a whole lot of issues out there... but i do know that he is just not someone i enjoy listening to. and the more he talks, the less i like him. and today i suddenly realized the irony of the situation. i was feeling endeared to lindsay lohan, actually LIKING her and thinking she was really sincere... and i thought the president sounded and looked like an idiot. (crap... immigration is going to have a hay-day with this one).

so, what does it say about me? ... that i don't care if people make mistakes as long as they're willing to admit it... and that i think lindsay lohan should be president.

i'm a *gulp* ... suburbanite

ok... i'll admit it. i'm a small city kinda girl. i have dreams of being a big city girl... the kind that gets all dressed up pretty, high-heels on, perfect hair... bounces out of her big city loft with her gorgeous purse and confidently makes her way to the metro, where she always finds an open seat and knows exactly what stop to get off and finds her way to a little cafe, where she sips her carmel apple cider from starbucks (mmm... thanks for the intro brit) all by herself with not a care in the world but her and her wall street journal.

but... this is not me.

if i actually happen to leave my apartment, i first start by putting my make-up on. 'cause if i'm not going out, what's the point? so, let's assume i'm all make-upped and dressed and ready to go -- far from dressed pretty with high-heels and perfect hair... usually more like comfy jeans, a sweet t-shirt i bought in the kids section, hair straightened but slightly frizzing from the humidity, and of course... flip flops. i walk out my door, fight with the elevators to get to my car, plug in the GPS navigation system, frantically shift my eyes back and forth between the road and the GPS display totally paranoid that i'm going to miss the next exit and hear the snotty computerized navigator say "recalculating". by the time i arrive to my destination (a 5 mile trip when driving 5 miles an hour means that it's going to take... an hour!), my hair is sticking to my forehead, the make-up is no longer fresh, we're not even going to talk about the combination of bra and other "things" going on under my clothes that have become suctioned to my body, and i'm usually at least a little frazzled. frankly, i like my super walmart less than 10 minutes away, a park within walking distance, a tank of gas to get me over 200 miles, getting to church without my GPS, and milk that costs less than a gallon of gasoline.