“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.” - Unknown

Thursday, October 08, 2009

bathroom analysis 101

so there's two bathrooms on the floor where i work now. the kind of bathrooms that accommodate one person at a time, with room for a wheelchair... or a small audience. probably the wheelchair though, 'cause there's also one of those handrails. which i assume is for getting in and out of the wheelchair and on to the toilet... or for leaning on if you get bored. if you wanted to. ANYway.

so each bathroom has a sign on the door. each is a cartoonized (that's a word... trust me, i work with artists. jk... i don't think that's a word) -- where was i? -- cartoonized bull. one is red and the other is blue. so here's the issue. and this issue is no reflection of the intelligence of my coworkers who put the signs there, as i can already attest to their talent and brilliance; but this is more a reflection of my insane ability to be paranoid. so the issue... red? and blue? does this mean girls and boys? i mean not to assume that all things female should be pink (a memo i would like to send to all makers of women's golf clubs), but red? burton wears red. and i, for the record, sometimes wear blue. these aren't really defining colors. unless, perhaps, one bathroom is intended for all BYU fans, and the other is for all Utah fans. but we're in DC... so... Or maybe they're going for gender neutral and i don't need to wait for the red bull bathroom to be vacant... i could use the blue bull bathroom. i mean, i've used a mens bathroom before anyway. i say if you need to go and there's a long line of women ('cause you know there's always a line) and the mens single-occupancy bathroom is available... it's fair game.

so anyway... i know they say there are no dumb questions... but "what does the red bull and the blue bull mean on the bathroom doors?" seems pretty dumb. so... red bull it is... unless there's a line, of course.

oh, but i'm not done yet... you thought i was done, huh?

in addition to the 'which bathroom do i use?' dilemma, i've also found that i have this weird inability to remember that i've dead-bolted myself in. i do my thing, wash my hands (as you should... ALWAYS... you people who just run your hands under the water for a second... i know you're out there! i've heard you!), dry them with the paper towels, check myself in the mirror (don't lie, you do it too), and hit the handle to leave. doh. i wish i could think of a sound effect for what a door sounds like when it's trying to be opened by someone who forgot that they dead-bolted it. so getting out of the bathroom has now become a conscious effort... wash hands, towel dry, check the mirror, hand nears the handle... wait... stop... dead-bolt. aaaand we're out.

ok, now i'm done.

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Blogger The Bells said...

I read this first on Facebook, but in order to encourage you in your blogging, I'm commenting here. And my comment is:

They're bulls. Bulls are male. They are both men's rooms, so you can't go in either. Just hold it.

October 09, 2009 2:03 AM

Blogger Kadi said...

Hilarious! Seriously. What a stress. I believe that individual bathrooms, that lock, are for anyone...use it freely...red bull or blue bull or whatever...

October 09, 2009 2:37 AM

Blogger Greg and Abbey said...

yeah! janaya is back! it's been so long. good to hear from you. hope all is well with y'all. love

October 09, 2009 3:26 PM

Blogger Alison said...

we need an update on what's been going on with your job, please!

October 12, 2009 5:21 PM

Blogger Becki Becki Bo Becki said...

Quite a conundrum! I'd go in both and just say you're color-blind.

PS-Congrats on the job...tell me more.

October 13, 2009 2:17 PM

Blogger Makenna said...

Me and mine would use the blue - since we are cougars...Just ask the boys!

And you are on facebook?! I want a new friend!

October 21, 2009 9:13 PM

Blogger rachel demartin said...

since we both know those hand rinsers are out there...what about the part where you use your paper towel to open the door. many wonderful details...missed that one. as your friend, tell me you are doing the paper towel method.

November 02, 2009 2:53 AM

Blogger Loni said...

Janaya...I seem to have lost your email address. Could you email it to me? loniwaggener@yahoo.com

December 01, 2009 5:51 PM

Blogger Corinne said...

The ironic thing I find about this is that so many men are color blind....Dan for instance, and therefore the colors would mean absolutely nothing. Something to think about.

March 09, 2010 10:27 AM

Blogger Greg and Abbey said...

where are you? i miss your "ramblings" a lot. love ya,

March 19, 2010 1:08 AM

Blogger Leigh said...

You are absolutely right... the obvious solution is that you need to talk to your brilliant cartoonerizers (I didn't look that up!) and have them do a cow and a bull. Problem solved.

June 10, 2010 4:44 AM


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