"b-list has-beens" trying to make a comeback

i've been working on some pretty funny stuff for work the past couple of days, and had to do some research on "b-list has-been's" trying to make a comeback. thought I'd share the findings for your enjoyment (along with some of my own thoughts on the discoveries):

mc hammer has a blog... like a real blog... like i have a blog talking about random crap and so does he, pictures and everything. best part is he has a new album coming out in 2007... can't wait:

vanilla ice thinks he’s pretty cool. he's got some gig coming up and he's all signed up for this season of the "surreal life" again. he pretty much thinks he's still amazing. ice ice baby!

dustin diamond a.k.a screech (Saved by the Bell) is trying to get the world to help him save his house from foreclosure (pardon the language on his site... this was just for research... but seriously, who knew screech was such a potty mouth?!)

not that david hasselhoff a.k.a. THE HOFF ever actually fell off the radar :) but he is a bizarre mix of taking himself seriously and being a complete lunatic. he has a major cult following and his insane videos on YouTube are incredibly viral (this was the part i was researching... random stuff these people are doing to get attention and build a following again). anyway, the Hoff's official site is pretty amazing to behold.

and here’s the stuff that spreads through the internet like wildfire… “Jump in My Car” (the hoff's latest video).

and THIS is the greatest thing you’ll ever see in your whole life! (the hoff video that really got me hooked on this baywatch babe again)

and don't forget about skid row. these guys are trying to ride the 80’s revival train right now. not sure how much success they’re having, but they likely have a pretty solid fan base of 30-somethings who are stoked that they have a new album and a tour schedule... sweet!

then… there’s jordan knight… what more do I need to say than his idea of a comeback tour is appearing LIVE with deborah gibson (she’s apparently too old for "debbie" now)… and check out the first line of his bio: “Maybe the idea of Jordan Knight singing love songs seems like old news – after all, his voice has adorned some of the most romantic material on record, whether on the classic hits of New Kids on the Block or on the solo CDs that has established him as a star in his own right.” Umm… ya. Last time I checked, NKOTB was pretty much the worst band ever (despite the fact that I had my walls plastered with posters of them)… and honestly, does anyone recall any of jordan knights music (NKOTB included) being anywhere near the most romantic material on record? oh i'm sorry... a better question would be does anyone remember jordan knights music? ok, i'm done. anyway, check out his site; he takes himself WAY too seriously. i love that!

and deborah gibson… some people just need to leave what’s been done in the past... in the past, but no… she’s back, ready to sign her old posters for you and all!

anyway, perhaps not everyone enjoys poking fun at these people who are grasping desperately for a piece of what used to be. but i can't help it.

halloween is for kids... and lingerie models

what the crap is with halloween? first of all, i've never liked the holiday in the first place. it always seemed like some kid was getting his hand blown off by a firecracker, or someone was getting egged as they trick-or-treat... whatever the circumstance, someone was almost always either going to get hurt or get in trouble. and then there's the costume. THIS is the main reason i hate this holiday. i swear i've been a hippie or an angel or a fairy of some sort at least 20 out of the 27 halloween's i've been on this earth. i have no imagination when it comes to the costume. no desire to spend tons of money or time creating the perfect costume. and now... NOW... what in the world has happened to women's costumes?! halloween has literally turned into a really good excuse for all those women out there who have aspirations of becoming a hooker someday, to practice out there in the real world for a night all dressed up like one. forgive me for not wanting to strap on some thigh high nylons and patent leather go-go boots and try to explain to everyone how little bo-peep was really a high-class prostitute. :) so instead of succumbing to the pressure of baring all for an evening, i've been eyeing my fly fishing gear... how lame can i get? a fisherman? or i could add some make-up to the equation and be a dead fisherman or a fisher-ghost. wow. halloween is awesome. and now that i've hurdled over the age 25 milestone, and junkfood goes straight to my butt, eating all the candy i want isn't an option... which is basically the only good part about halloween. and of course, seeing all the little toddlers dressed up like ducks and monkeys and chickens and stuff. so cute. anyway, happy halloween. blah blah.

gotta love a good quote

"what c.s. lewis said of our reception-oriented social gatherings is often true: meeting people in such settings is like reading only the first page of one hundred different books--very unfulfilling! all of us should strive, therefore, to have some friendships that are deep and solid--so solid, for instance, that if they were interrupted, the unfinished conversation could be resumed months later almost in mid-sentence, just as if we had never been apart."

- neal a. maxwell

alone time

so, here's the rule: when your husband goes away hunting for the weekend and you stay home, this is what you do...

the moment you drop him off, go to macy's and spend $90 at the Clinique counter, then go through the burger king drive-through and "make it a LARGE please", then be sure to go to the video store and rent three chic flicks you know you'll never get to watch any other way, and on your way home make sure you drop by the grocery store and buy a tub of "Moose Tracks" ice-cream... small enough that there's no chance of any evidence still being around when he gets home, and don't forget to buy an extra SKOR bar just in case there's not enough of it in the actual ice-cream. And of course, when you get home, dead bolt the door behind you so no creepy men can get into your apartment while your eyes are closed as you wash your face (i'm sure it happens all the time). Then... be sure to schedule a day at the spa doing your nails and toes and face and whatever else sounds really fun to do with an old college roommate and then make reservations for the two of you to go eat lunch at CPK so you can sit around and talk about totally meaningless, random things that you would only talk about with your closest friends. and then settle in for an evening curled up on the couch with your ice-cream and movies. and be sure to eat the ice-cream straight from the tub... that's very important. this is not one of those "feel sorry for yourself because you don't have a boyfriend and you don't have a date on a friday night" kind of moments you have when you're single... this is the epitome of alone time.

don't get me wrong, i miss burton... i always do when he's gone... even when he's just gone for school. but there's nothing wrong with enjoying your own company. and your ice-cream.

my muse

i guess before i get started, anyone reading this should know that i am a complete dork... and i married one too. so basically our children are destined to be complete idiots. but this is my life. and i love it.

burton and janaya
married: aug 14, 2004

11:59 PM

not so sure this whole blog thing is going to be good for my bedtime... i just spent that last hour (ok, two hours) trying to figure out how to set it up. anyway, here i am... online. i'm not so sure the world is quite ready to have my innermost thoughts revealed online, but here goes.