no, you shut up!

you know, i think i have just discovered the cure for blogger-block: walmart. i swear that there is not a single visit to walmart that doesn't result in something overwhelmingly blogworthy; albeit, usually it involves poking fun at people... but blogworthy, nonetheless.

i'm not going to spend much time talking about the lady who parked her car in the middle of the parking lot lane because she had clearly just had an encounter with the bumper of another car pulling out of a parking spot... even though i think most of us can agree that when in a fender-bender in a parking lot, the ideal reaction is not to leave your car in the way of everyone else who has not been in a fender-bender, but now has a slightly increased chance of it while trying to maneuver their way around a silly woman.

but i will tell you about the screaming child in the next aisle over from me. i will admit, although i know full well that some children just can't be contained and sometimes you just need groceries whether your child is the devil or not... i was a little irritated. mostly because i'm particularly sensitive to noise... i would have been equally (if not more) annoyed if i were being forced to listen to a full grown man whistle while he walked around the store... i know this because it has happened and i wanted nothing more than to yell "SHUT UP!" at him from the next aisle over. but yes, i was feeling a little irritated at the persistence of this very loud child. and then i heard someone ACTUALLY yell "SHUT UP!" wow. i wasn't sure at first if maybe this was the mother of the child. we all have our ways of copping; who am i to say that this approach isn't effective (though, i assure you it wasn't). but then i turned down the next aisle, and as my cart neared two elderly women exchanging opinions about the situation, i heard one say "does no one teach their children manners anymore?" and i smiled politely as i walked passed (oh... you are soooo blogworthy and you don't even know it!), only to hear the other one say "i know! it's appauling! i just yelled 'shut up', though it didn't seem to work!" HAHAHAHAH. i love the irony of those two phrases being included in the same cordial interchange without even so much as a flicker of awareness that some might consider yelling "shut up" falling a little outside the norm of so-called "manners" they've clearly been taught. they proceeded to go on and on (whilst i pretended i needed some soy sauce... ) about how they would never allow their children to behave like this in public and force other people to have to deal with such a miserable shopping experience. "if my children were to act like that, i would march them right back out to the car and we would go home!" yes... i see the logic in that. sure. because every mother has the time to pack her kids back in the car, after a completely unsuccessful trip to the world's worst walmart, and come back later, so that cranky women (i will wholeheartedly lump myself into that category for the 30 seconds of hatred i felt for the child) can shop in peace. peace = shopping amid thousands of utah's finest. (<-- that is my attempt at self-restraint right there. just for the record.)

so yes... of course i would prefer a walmart shopping experience minus the child mimicking the most annoying sound in the world. but i'd also prefer not to stand in line to check out for 45 minutes. and i'd love it if walmart employees were actually helpful. and i'd also love it if they carried chalkboard erasers. but THAT is the cost of saving $50 on my grocery bill.