gonna go postal

i hate my mailman... or woman... i'm actually pretty sure it's a woman. anyway, it's almost 6:00 PM and my mail still hasn't come! it's not always late or anything, it's just a lot of little things. but seriously, who hates their mailman? i think a mailman -- sorry, mailPERSON -- has to be really crappy for someone to despise this mystery person who puts their mail in the mailbox each day. but she seriously sucks. we have one of those small apartment mailboxes that is loaded from the top. and without fail, at least a couple of times a week our mail is literally stuffed into the box. i say that, and yet i'm certain that the mental image you have of my mail right now is nothing in comparison to the mess it actually is. sure, most of my mail is junkmail and bills, but wedding invitations, birthday cards, j.crew catalogs... they just don't get the respect they deserve from my mailperson. one time, i actually took a picture of my mail to send to the post office and complain about, it was so bad... but the problem is, you can't complain about your mailman. inevitably that stuff is not anonymous... it's like complaining about the kid making your Big Mac. you're just kidding yourself if you think nothing "out of the ordinary" is going to end up in your hamburger. your mailman just isn't someone you wanna mess with. anyway, all i want is my mail delivered at a normal time and neatly folded in my slender mailbox... is that really too much to ask? isn't that what my 39 cents is paying for? does FIRST CLASS mean nothing anymore!? :)

ok... i don't really hate her... i can't say that anymore since between the first and second paragraph i went out to the mailbox to get my mail and she was still there (sadly, i'm still guessing whether or not it's a woman, but for purposes of this blog posting i will presume it's a woman) and as she walked away i couldn't help myself and i said "thank you" and without looking at me she said "you're welcome" and walked back to her mail-minivan (random... i know this). anyway, so now we've officially spoken and although she was bizarrely awkward in her response, i just can't hate her anymore. it's too personal now or something.