ramblings

a fool-proof disaster plan

2011-08-26T09:57:00.006-04:00

janaya: we should talk about these things: http://www.nhc.noaa.gov/HAW2/english/prepare/family_plan.shtml. just in case.

burton: OK. Will do.

janaya: there's probably more things we can talk about, but all the fairfax alerts keep mentioning reviewing your family's hurricane plan. which we don't really have. :) or at least it's been awhile since we've talked about it as a plan.

burton: I have one. Karate chop my way to safety.

janaya: oh ok. then no need to discuss.

burton: true.

discussions while listening to cher

2011-04-22T14:25:00.002-04:00

...or actually, as burton is changing the station because he HATES cher.

burton: "i hate synthesizers."

me: "that's not a synthesizer... is it?"

burton: "it's definitely a synthesizer. you think she just sings like that?"

me: "isn't a synthesizer like a keyboard or something?... i guess it is a synthesizer... 'synthesizer'. that's a weird word. it sounds like the name of a gun. 'you've been synthesized!'" [in my best tough-guy voice]

burton: "it should be a gun."

something about my birthday

2010-12-06T16:36:00.005-05:00

me [as burton climbs into the car and hangs up his phone]: "who was that?"

burton: "my mom."

me: "what were you talking about?"

burton [with a smirk]: "nothing..."

me: "hey, remember? if you're talking about my birthday you say 'it's a secret'; if it's about church stuff you say 'it's confidential'; if it's about work stuff you say 'i'd tell you, but then i'd have to kill you..."

burton: "how about i make it easy and just say 'it's none of your business'..."

discussions leaving a wendy's drive-thru

2010-10-07T18:53:00.004-04:00

me [as we're pulling on to the road]: ok, don't forget to take that new freeway exit.

burton [as he lovingly touches my face]: we have the same brain. i was just thinking the saaaame thing.

me [tilting my head in that affectionate way]: awwwwww.

burton: so you know what that means?... you don't have to tell me what to do. 'cause i'm already thinking it.

[and then i burst out laughing].

who's the boss?

2010-08-27T20:37:00.002-04:00

burton [speaking in to his smartphone as we're driving]: "MOV!-IES! 2!-2!-1!-5!-3!"

me: "why do you have to talk so mean to it?"

burton: "... it respects me."

so, i like to repeat myself

2010-08-09T17:57:00.003-04:00

burton: "bergen-op-zoom!" [random street name from my home town -- thanks to a very odd mayor who dressed like captain hook during parades... of course]

me: "how come you remember stuff like that, but not important stuff?"

[uncomfortable pause, during which i realize that's not really true... and maybe a little mean]

me [again]: "wait, you remember important stuff. but i mean, you remember my childhood memories, and you don't even remember your own."

burton: "because you tell me your childhood memories 600 times."

[doh]

discussions with a diabetic in the check-out line

2010-05-10T13:38:00.002-04:00

burton: "i'm going to change my signature to a dot in a circle."

me: "i bet you a bajillion dollars that your sugar is low."

discussions in traffic

2010-05-03T09:58:00.001-04:00

burton: "can we skip this song? it's making me crazy."

me: "how is it that you inherently know when a song is from the 90s?"

burton: "it is?"

me: "yep. tracy chapman."

burton: "that's a woman!?! ... well, that's a big raspberry."

bathroom analysis 101

2009-10-08T18:13:00.002-04:00

so there's two bathrooms on the floor where i work now. the kind of bathrooms that accommodate one person at a time, with room for a wheelchair... or a small audience. probably the wheelchair though, 'cause there's also one of those handrails. which i assume is for getting in and out of the wheelchair and on to the toilet... or for leaning on if you get bored. if you wanted to. ANYway.

so each bathroom has a sign on the door. each is a cartoonized (that's a word... trust me, i work with artists. jk... i don't think that's a word) -- where was i? -- cartoonized bull. one is red and the other is blue. so here's the issue. and this issue is no reflection of the intelligence of my coworkers who put the signs there, as i can already attest to their talent and brilliance; but this is more a reflection of my insane ability to be paranoid. so the issue... red? and blue? does this mean girls and boys? i mean not to assume that all things female should be pink (a memo i would like to send to all makers of women's golf clubs), but red? burton wears red. and i, for the record, sometimes wear blue. these aren't really defining colors. unless, perhaps, one bathroom is intended for all BYU fans, and the other is for all Utah fans. but we're in DC... so... Or maybe they're going for gender neutral and i don't need to wait for the red bull bathroom to be vacant... i could use the blue bull bathroom. i mean, i've used a mens bathroom before anyway. i say if you need to go and there's a long line of women ('cause you know there's always a line) and the mens single-occupancy bathroom is available... it's fair game.

so anyway... i know they say there are no dumb questions... but "what does the red bull and the blue bull mean on the bathroom doors?" seems pretty dumb. so... red bull it is... unless there's a line, of course.

oh, but i'm not done yet... you thought i was done, huh?

in addition to the 'which bathroom do i use?' dilemma, i've also found that i have this weird inability to remember that i've dead-bolted myself in. i do my thing, wash my hands (as you should... ALWAYS... you people who just run your hands under the water for a second... i know you're out there! i've heard you!), dry them with the paper towels, check myself in the mirror (don't lie, you do it too), and hit the handle to leave. doh. i wish i could think of a sound effect for what a door sounds like when it's trying to be opened by someone who forgot that they dead-bolted it. so getting out of the bathroom has now become a conscious effort... wash hands, towel dry, check the mirror, hand nears the handle... wait... stop... dead-bolt. aaaand we're out.

ok, now i'm done.

yep, you're in traffic.

2009-07-08T09:19:00.003-04:00

news flash heard on NPR this morning: traffic congestion in los angeles has been gradually improving over the last two years; unlike washington d.c., where traffic congestion has actually been getting worse.

awesome.

every morning i get up, get ready for work (today's get-up: flipflops, capri's and a care-bear t-shirt... of course), get in my car and wonder "so... let's see how long it's going to take me to get to work this morning." it can vary from 23 minutes to 90+ minutes. so depending on how things go and when i leave, i could be an hour early or an hour late. it's brilliant. i love it. :P not to mention the anomaly of leaving at 8:40 and arriving at work at 9:10, and so then leaving at 8:15 and STILL arriving at work at 9:10. what the... !? how?

and to top it off, NPR's traffic report = so lame, i want to punch my stereo. every morning. Art Andrews, the traffic guy, makes me crazy. this might as well be his traffic report:

"do you see cars in front of you? then you're in traffic. no cars in front of you? you're going to be just fine."

thanks Art. so helpful.

maybe it's just me, but it's not even the traffic that makes me crazy. it's the not knowing what's causing the traffic that drives me bonkers. come on Art! just tell me WHY?! at least tell me there was an accident so when i arrive to my meeting 20 minutes late i can say "well, there was an accident on 395 at Seminary Rd and so traffic was murder! sorry, i'm late." but no, instead i'm left standing at the doorway 20 minutes late to a meeting with nothing to say but "sorry i'm late... there was... more people on the freeway today..."

tap tap tap... is this thing on?

2009-05-15T09:30:00.004-04:00

uh... hi.

three months. that's a long time. but i have good (and lame) excuses.

1. i got a new job in february. arnolddc.com.

2. we bought a new house a month ago. did i mention it's like 2 minutes from costco?... ya, i know, right?

3. we decided the new house needed a few tweaks... so we landscaped (WE landscaped... as in, i got dirty and sweaty and stuff. burton has never been more in love with me), and we installed new closet shelves and such, and installed a cupboard in the bathroom (heaven forbid anyone ever takes it off the wall and sees the mess we made to get it up there), and put up shelving in the storage/laundry/tool room, and installed a microwave over the stove, and added an electrical outlet outside, and the list goes on... and on... and on...

4. my commute jumped from 5 ft to 45 minutes each way. (if i could blog and drive at the same time that would be perfect... but alas, i cannot)

5. my brother and his wife had a baby boy two weeks ago. (ok... not an excuse, but still pretty sweet)

6. my parents sold their house in nanaimo... and are going on an adventure for 2 years. destination unknown. and since they live on the opposite side of the continent, i'm sure you can see why that's kept me pretty busy...

7. it's been raining. non-stop. for like 2 months. ok, not really. but kinda. and that's also not really an excuse... but whatev.

8. i'm lazy.

so... maybe this means i'm back. we'll see how it goes. you know... with the rain and all.

watch the "x"... it'll getcha

2009-02-18T10:06:00.013-05:00

so i know i haven't blogged in two months, and THIS is what i'm choosing to come back to the table with... but i need to know if i'm the only one out there who does this at least 3 times a day, without fail.

so, there are two widely accepted ways to notify a person you're chatting online with that you'll be gone for a quick moment:

brb = be right back

just a sec = obvious

i tend to lean to the "just a sec" option because not EVERYone using instant messenger knows what "brb" means, and so if you use that one you risk not being able to dash away from your computer because "brb" may be quickly followed by "what's brb?" which requires an answer, or you're really just ditching them without an explanation. ANYway...

so, imagine, you're instant messaging with someone... perhaps it's your spouse, perhaps it's a long time friend, perhaps it's a coworker, maybe even your boss... possibly even your father... and you're mid-sentence and something comes up that you need to attend to for "just a sec"... but curse the creator of the keyboard who conveniently decided that the "c" and the "x" should be positioned next to each other, and under your palm where you can't really see and so you have to make a really precise estimate of location or you end up with "just gimme a sex". and while that may be funny to your spouse who happily replies, "i'll give you all the sex you want"... it's hard to imagine an appropriate response from your coworker or your boss... or your father.

literally, my friends... this ALMOST happens three times a day, at least. (most of the time i catch it... but holy awkward when i don't).

and then of course there's my failed attempts to type "... about it", but the "t" miraculously jumps to the "it" and we have another awkward IM moment on our hands. i'll let you put that one together yourself... i don't even want to know the search terms that will get people to this blog post as it is.

dun dun dun duunnnn

2008-12-08T08:33:00.005-05:00

holy crap, it's here. like a thief in the night, today came and stole my twenties. luckily, on thursday i went and colored my hair (for the first time in 6 months. heaven help me, it's freaking expensive) so at least i don't have the grey hairs mocking me today. though, there are some perpetual bags under my eyes, and some wrinkles that definitely weren't there when i entered the 3rd decade of my life.

the thing that's really making me feel old these days isn't what you might think though (aside from the fact that today i turned 30)... it's new kids on the block. that's right. nkotb. 'cause they're back, you know? like, performing concerts and people are talking about them and actually saying things like "their show was really good. donny is so hot." ('cause donny IS so hot, you know... thank goodness i'm married or i might have to pull out the poster again). BUT... did you know they're almost 40? not that 40 is THAT old or anything (or at least i'm trying to convince myself of that since it's only 10 years away). but when you're thinking about people who used to plaster your walls... that you may or may not have stared at and daydreamed about... 40 hits like a ton of bricks. could i possibly be old enough that nkotb is 40? little joe mcintyre... over the hill? (but still singing falsetto, i might add).

anyway, for the record, my twenties were great. i've tried a couple times to sit down and sum it up, but it's tough. i start with a list of the monumental things that happened during this decade of my life, but "graduated from college, met and married my husband, moved across the country", just doesn't seem to do this decade justice. when i think of my 20s, i think of great friends. truly great friends. laughing a lot. boys. broken hearts. more boys. falling in love. silly pictures. immigration (blah). roommates. provo. lots of provo. rent. buying my first car (she was cheap and got me where i needed to go), and my second car (ah, my love), and my third car (the practical one). marrying my missionary (ah, fer cute). well... i'll stop. but my 20s were good. so bring on my 30s! i'm ready. i can take it. (pass me the hair dye and my wrinkle cream).

it's called jetlag

2008-11-14T10:26:00.004-05:00

whitney tagged me 'cause i "need stuff to blog about"... which is true. so thanks whit. so the idea here is that you pick the 4th picture, in the 4th folder of your photo library. and this is it. nothing embarrasing or scandalous. but this does have a bit of an unexciting story to go along with it. and since i have nothing else to blog about, you get to read it.

but first, i have to make a comment. do you ever wonder whose pictures you end up in? i mean, take this guy talking on his cell phone. i'm sure he's looking at himself in the glass while he talks ('cause you know that's what you'd be doing...) and he's so wrapped up in his phone call and his reflection that he's not paying attention to what's going on on the other side of the glass. or is he? ...is he looking at me? is he thinking mid-sentence "why is this silly american (he would assume i'm american... but little does he know...) taking a picture of me? great! now i'm going to end up on some silly mormon girls blog a year and a half from now, and there's nothing i can do about it." ('cause of course he'd know i'm mormon...)

anyway... so this picture is taken from inside the eurostar travel information area which is inside london's waterloo station. burton and i had just arrived in london, and were hung-over with jetlag. holy cow, that first couple hours sucked. i was in a daze and even though we were in england, where people speak english... i couldn't understand anyone. partly because i was drunk on jetlag and partly because they talk a thousand miles a minute and say words like ... hmm ... i don't know, words i didn't understand. anyway, after an hour or so of trying to feel normal, eating lunch at a pub, surrounded by cigarette smoking brits (they must have seen those commercials in the 1950s... and never got the memo that smoking will kill you), and listening to burton ramble on about the book he was reading to try and keep me from falling off my chair, we decided to go somewhere a little less stressful. and so we found this visitors area. the area wasn't intended for people to fall over and die, but that's what we did. well, burton did. i slipped in and out, because i was too paranoid to die and miss the train.

anyway... that's the story. see, i told you it wasn't exciting.

oh ya, now i have to tag people. i hate this part. hmm... i'm going to cheat. if you read this, TAG! you're it.

pass me a cigarette, this fresh air is killing me

2008-11-13T11:04:00.006-05:00

while looking for vintage voiceover samples for a project i'm working on, we came across these wonderful examples of fine and honest 1950s advertising.

silly surgeon general... don't you know that cigarettes are as cool and as a clean as a breath of fresh air?... i mean, who needs real fresh air, when the finest leaf tobacco makes your mouth feel clean and your throat feel so refreshed? what more could a young girl swinging happily from a tree ask for?

who doesn't love a good fairytale on IM?

2008-11-12T15:48:00.001-05:00

TWO posts in one day?! well... how could i possibly resist posting this IM conversation i just had with my sociopathically (yes, i made that up) hilarious husband...

burton: i just had a mormon in my office

janaya: really?

burton: yes

janaya: who?

burton: he actually works on our GIS team, but he works in the SLC office. he is just out here for some meetings.

janaya: they have a SLC office?

burton: yes

janaya: did you know that already?

burton: yes

janaya: how come you're not working there? :)

burton: there are only like 15 employees

janaya: oh. gotcha. so did he already know you were LDS?

burton: no

janaya: you're not a very good story teller :)

*** and i should have seen this coming ***

burton: once upon a time, there was a lovely young mormon boy from logan, utah. as a boy in his mid twenties, he attended a university in the top of some mystic mountains. the university was called utah state. it is the home of the blue aggies, a rare and magical breed of cow. after graduating from utah state, he got on a magic carpet and came to washington dc to work. while there, he lived in a land filled with milk and honey. it was called alexandria. he worked at [insert the company burton works for... my blog isn't the place for burton's resume] for three and a half years before deciding that he and his wife missed their loving family back in utah. from that time forth, this lovely young mormon boy named eric worked in the SLC office of [insert the company burton works for] doing projects for the evil bureau of land management. one day, he had to meet a fair damsel in virginia and so he flew out to the headquarters of [insert the company burton works for]. there he needed a desk to sit at and so went searching through the enchanted forest of offices and found one empty desk next to a handsome prince named burton. the prince and the lovely young mormon boy began talking. once eric divulged that he worked in the mystical mountainland of SLC, the prince's ears perked up because he was from that magical land. the two talked as if they were good friends from times past. they also determined that they were both mormons, which are kind of like hobbits, but they are rumored to have horns. the two eventually said "good day" and eric left to go rescue the fair maiden. they both lived happily ever after. the end.

infertility bites

2008-11-12T10:08:00.008-05:00

it's a delicate balance between divulging too much and explaining too little. in my personal interactions, i tend to fall hard on the side of divulging too much. i'm an open book, as they say. i generally lack what some might call a "filter". but when it comes to my blog, i tend to keep things pretty private. sure, i'll tell you all about my escapades back in the day... kissing a boy(s), cheating on a test(s), stealing a fruit roll-up (that only happened once). but it's pretty rare that i share a really solid insight into what's going on with me. mostly because i don't know who is currently reading or may some day read my blog and despite my general lack of filtering, i like to control who i open the flood gates with. ANYway... screw it. here's what's up...

so, we've been trying to get pregnant. for a little over three years now. for most of those three years, we've taken people's advice about just letting things happen. but after three years of things not happening, no matter how much "letting" we did, we started seeking answers. i'm not going to go into the specifics of those answers (hey! look at me filtering! i'm so proud of myself), but i will tell you that after way too many way too invasive tests on both of us, we know the problem. and it's not that we're too stressed. it's not that i'm not ovulating. and no amount of elevating my hips is going to resolve it. (oh... there i go not filtering again...)

as it stands, there's still a chance (not a great chance... but a chance) that with some medical intervention the issue could be fixed. but that will take more time. and more waiting to know if it worked. possibly another year. and while some might say "just adopt"... we're not there yet. so don't say it.

and so this is where all the reasons i haven't been blogging come. mostly, i really just don't know what to say. i have so many moments where i feel so sorry for myself and it's hard and all i want to do is cry or curl up on the couch with a good movie and a hot chocolate and think about something else. but then i have moments where my faith is strengthened, and i know it will all be ok. that it's all happening for a reason... i truly believe that. that there are things i'm learning right this very second that i wouldn't learn any other way. and years from now, when i have screaming children and diapers to change and neverending laundry to do... i'll look back to this time in my life, and i hope that i won't feel like i wasted it waiting for the future to come. i wish i could say that i'm not doing that right now. but it's a battle. really. a battle between doubt and faith. discouragement and motivation. tears and smiles.

so, that's that. we wait. we try to make our life fulfilling while we anticipate what we hope will come. however it comes. whenever it comes. and we pray. as i know you are. and we love you for it. thanks.

i should have been a bear

2008-11-07T14:13:00.004-05:00

do you ever have times in your life when you just want to crawl in a hole and hibernate for awhile until things work out the way you want them to? i do. and it's not just cause i love sleeping. though... i do love sleeping.

can you hear me now?

2008-10-07T10:52:00.004-04:00

working from home has its advantages... yes. i've discussed many of these advantages in past blog posts. a 10-step commute. moderately flexible hours. working in bed, if i so choose. but it also has its disadvantages. socializing is limited to IM and email. no coworker lunches. 4-hour conference calls. FOUR-HOUR conference calls! and yard workers. yes, yard workers. each and every tuesday morning, it begins. i hear the faint roar of a lawn mower in the distance, and i remember... tuesday. curse tuesday. curse the yard workers who seem to take extra special care of the small patch of grass just outside my office/guest bedroom window. on tuesdays, i can generally be found on the floor in the hallway (the furthest i can get away from the lawn mower, aside from sitting on the toilet), cordless phone hung between my chin and my shoulder, laptop propped on my legs stuck straightout in front of me, trying to converse with clients and coworkers who i'm praying can't hear the obnoxious weed-wacker that might as well be cutting the carpet in my livingroom. "i'm sorry, can you say that again? i didn't hear you... oh no, i know it sounds like a chainsaw is hacking away at my phone, but it's just a riding lawn mower." ah yes, working from home. the glamor of it all.

survivorman vs. bear

2008-10-03T10:52:00.003-04:00

i've said it before, and i'll say it again... anyone who thinks that survivorman is tougher than bear grylls is CRAAAZY! and i know i'm friends with a few of you. but seriously... survivorman?!

burton and i have been discovery channel fans for awhile now. we love ourselves some mythbusters (though, deadliest catch, how its made, and dirty jobs need to beat it), and we're big fans of man vs. wild. we've been faithful fans, even through the admission that his camera crew aren't just silent observers all the time, and that he has stayed in hotels mid-episode when supposedly he's roughing it in the jungle. but even with that all out in the open now and the overall format of the show changing to be more openly inclusive of assistance and human contact, i still think that bear grylls could DEFINITELY kick survivorman's trash!

having seen bear grylls drink the juice from elephant dung, stick his head in a dead zebra to get rotten meat that he proceeds to eat, cut the head off a rattle snake (and looking no more shaken than i do when i have to smack a cricket with my shoe), pee into the skin of said rattle snake as backup in case he finds himself dehydrated, drink said pee when he eventually does find himself dehydrated, catch a live skunk with a trap and then cut it's head off and cook/eat the meat which tasted like "someone's taken your steak and rubbed it in dog feces"... it's hard to compare it to survivorman's discovery of a berry bush. i mean sure, bear isn't winning popularity contests with the vegetarians of the world, and i can't say i don't prefer berries to skunk tail... but berries and sticks... for SEVEN days?

if you've ever watched survivorman, then you know that his mission is to leave nature the way he found it. which makes good sense if you're at scout camp or yogi bear's campground... but if you're in survival mode, i think there's room for an exception. he also holds true to the "if you find yourself lost, just stay put" philosophy. and while, again, that might make good sense... does it really make good television? watching this guy, spend an entire day sewing a sleeping pad out of dry grass in the arizona desert, only to discover at the end of the day that he's kinda hungry, but will look for food tomorrow... riveting, i tell you. anyway, burton and i can't help but laugh that the episode of "the office" where michael decides to go film his own survivorman show, and tries to make a lean-to out of his suit pants is so close to how the actual show really is it's hardly a mockery.

so that's it. i just had to publicly state my opinion that bear wins... that being said, can you imagine your husband coming home with elephant dung on his breath? mercy.

a well spent 6 minutes and 46 seconds

2008-09-24T14:03:00.001-04:00

i promise. i laugh out loud everytime. enjoy. you can thank me later.

i passed out today, how 'bout you?

2008-09-22T19:37:00.004-04:00

literally... if i blogged everyday, this is what every entry would say: "worked today. didn't want to make dinner. still not pregnant." not that i'm saying that so you'll feel sorry for me that we're still not pregnant... i'd actually prefer sympathy for the fact that i never want to make dinner anymore... but i'm just saying, these are the three most consuming thoughts in my day pretty much everyday. except saturday, when i have to think about the food i have to buy for the dinners i don't want to make. ANYway, THIS is not the point of my blog post. i'm just explaining why i hardly ever blog anymore. and until i don't work anymore and can do fun things all day, or make some really awesome dinner i must share with the world... or have some really exciting news about the fruit of our loins... i have to wait for weird or interesting things to happen to me to feel excited about writing a new blog post. and lucky for all of you who have been sitting on the edge of your seat waiting for me to post again (... silence...) i went to the dentist today and passed out.

now, i normally don't make a habit of passing out in general, much less at the dentist... but today me and the anesthetic decided not to be friends. i went in 30 minutes early to get numbed up... another long story about how i have this weird overly high tolerance to anesthetic and so they have to give me lots of it (quote my oral surgeon: "i gave you enough anesthetic for a 250 lbs man!") and let it sink in for a long time. the dentist (GREAT dentist, by the way) came in and stuck the needle in my jaw... moved the needle around (i'm sure there's a reason they do this... but i really can't imagine pretty much anything more nauseating than sticking a needle anywhere and moving it around), and then he left to let me soak in the numbness. i had come prepared from the waiting room with a "people" magazine featuring britney's mom (of course), so i returned to my spot on the page and started to read, only to soon realize i felt incredibly nauseous... and the thought occurred to me, "i think i'm going to pass out". i've really only passed out a couple of times before... the most notable, being in the shower... and i hit my head on the faucet on the way down. so i haven't really chosen the most convenient places to pass out, but i knew the feeling. and so i put the magazine down, and i started to close my eyes, and the next thing i knew i was coming to, with my head hanging over the side of the dentist chair. :)

the dentist and his assistant walked in just as i was coming to and clearly realized there was a problem. i might not have much color in my face normally... but they were pretty concerned with my lack of untanned-pasty-hue. and i was pretty concerned with the fact that i had instantaneously sweat through my clothes. anyway, turns out that anesthesia in your blood stream = your heart starts to race, which can then = your body goes into emergency shut down mode. so with a cool cloth and the assistant holding my hand and glancing at the britney article on my lap, i regained my composure. and half-smiled. and then endured an hour or so of tooth drilling, temporary-crown fitting, rinsing and spitting. curse my crappy provo dentist and his crappy cracked filling.

who needs hair gel?

2008-09-04T13:27:00.001-04:00

amid all the hype and hoopla of both the democratic and republican national conventions... THIS was by far my favorite 15 seconds! :)

seven years ago today

2008-08-29T12:49:00.006-04:00

august 29, 2001... "the whole day was kind of a countdown. eight hours left. four hours left. an hour left. it sucked that way. we went to the mall to pick up some things with sherrie [burton's mom] and the three of us ate lunch in the food court. sherrie talked about how poor they were when she and clark were first married. it was fun to listen to her talk.

dinner was tough, 'cause we ate kind of late, so by the time we were done it was almost time for me to go. we had decided that i should leave before he got set apart, so i arranged for emily to come pick me up. both burton and i were getting pretty glassy-eyed sitting at the table. finally, we just went downstairs and cried. we stood in his room, hugging and sobbing. we sat down and just talked and cried. it was awful, but beautiful.

we eventually went upstairs and sat outside on the bench in the front yard. we just held hands and talked through tears. then emily's car pulled up. my heart just beat a million miles a minute. we went inside and i gathered my things and then we hugged. we hugged for so long. burton sobbed. his parents, whom i just hugged seconds earlier were both standing there watching - they were both pretty teary-eyed too. after one of the longest good-bye hugs i think i've ever had, corinne and clark came up and i hugged them and then gave burton one last hug and kiss and walked out the door. i could hardly bear to look at burton for fear my heart would rip out of my chest. he was still sobbing. i got in the car and completely lost it. as we drove out of the driveway, i looked back and could see through the front doorway window. burton was hugging his mom, and then turned to his dad and was just hunched over his shoulder crying. it was so hard to leave him."

what a day!! so many unknowns. so many emotions. i recall being SO excited for burton to serve a mission, but it didn't really make the day any less difficult. we said our good-bye's and hoped for the best. we were truly best friends who happened upon each other under unlikely circumstances. we hadn't spent more than a week apart in over 6 months, and now we were looking at two whole years. we wrote every week. he put his whole heart and soul into serving a mission, and i did as he asked and tried not to simply wait around. seven years later, it's quite amazing to look back and see how often the Lord whispered in my ear that burton was the one for me. that somehow, it would all work out. that no matter how the story ended, He was aware of us and we would be alright. and so today, i just thought i'd share a little bit of the story... and acknowledge how grateful i am for this man in my life who laughs with me, inspires me, works hard with me, talks with me, cries with me (though, it's not easy to get this man to cry), and is in this for the long-haul with me.

happy 7 years since you entered the MTC burton! :) thanks for coming back and marrying me. i love you much.

total intimidation

2008-08-27T10:44:00.002-04:00

so... i've been asked to sub for a primary class this sunday. they're 10. and for some reason, this fact kind of terrifies me. 10?! when was the last time i even spoke to a 10 year old? what do 10 year olds look like? hahaha. no seriously. how is it possible that i really have this huge social gap in my life? give me a bunch of toddlers. great. give me a bunch of old ladies. i can teach them... probably even make them laugh a bit. give me anyone over the age of 19 or under the age of 4, and i'm in my element. but 10? what do 10 year olds like? i think i still played with barbie's at 10... i'm pretty sure i was at the hitting boys because i liked them phase. what's funny to a 10 year old? oh! it just struck me that they're in 5th grade. i've seen "are you smarter than a 5th grader"... but are 10 year olds really like that? i suddenly just had flashbacks of grade 5... 10 year olds are mean. are they still mean? or was that just an 80s thing?

ok... help me. somebody has to know something about 10 year olds. do they bite? :)

i heart crazy people

2008-08-15T16:06:00.004-04:00

well... it's official. i had my first real crazy person encounter worthy of a blog post since moving to the east coast. or maybe it's just the first time i've been unable to avoid the craziness, and thus could do nothing more than stare and take notes. 'cause let's be honest, when you blog... sometimes it's critical to take a few notes about the crazy people so you don't forget the really good details. :)

so, just to recap the insanity of my day up to that point. i had woken up at 4:30 AM, got myself showered and dressed, left for the airport at 5:30 AM, left on the plane at 6:30 AM, arrived in newark, nj at 8:12 AM, caught a taxi that got me to montclair, nj at 9:00 AM, met with a client all day, took a break to bring in some indian cuisine, met some more, played a computer game we built for the client with the client, got sufficiently schooled by said client on said computer game, left for the airport again at 7:30 PM, boarded the plane at 9:30 PM (i'm feeling exhausted just recapping this day)... and this is where the crazy lady enters.

it was one of those little planes. the kind with two seats on one side, and a single seat on the other. i took my place in seat 4A, with two empty seats next to me across the aisle. everyone had boarded, but this one little old hispanic woman. she had pin straight, stringy bright-white hair, pulled back in a ponytail with a little blue scrunchy. she was carrying a purse the size of a small suitcase in one hand and a grease soaked chili's to-go bag in the other as she boarded the plane, and was mumbling something in spanish as she threw herself down into a seat across the aisle from me. the male flight attendant had tried to make this slightly frazzled woman feel a little more comfortable by throwing out a few spanish phrases as she walked passed him and on to the plane, but it was clear something was bothering her. all of a sudden she turned to me and said something that i could only imagine was "do you speak spanish?" and i responded "no, i'm sorry." she suddenly jumps up out of her seat, mumbling much louder and i definitely heard her say "they think i'm crazy!" (why she knew this phrase in english and nothing else, i'm not quite sure) and frantically barrels down the aisle towards the back of the plane asking if anyone spoke spanish. apparently no one did. she runs back up to the front of the plane where the flight attendant had just closed the door and sent the walkway thing (that's a technical term) away, and she starts yelling in spanish about something that seemed to have to do with her luggage that had been checked at the gate. the flight attendant wasn't as cool with his fancy spanish phrases this time, so he calls someone to come to the plane. they bring the walkway thing back, open the plane door again, and an airport employee who speaks spanish comes on to the plane. they have a very loud discussion in spanish right next to me, and the crazy lady calms down (sorta). the flight attendant is clearly getting paranoid about having this crazy woman on the plane, and tells the airport employee to pass along the following information VERY CLEARLY: "once we are in the air, under NO circumstances can she get out of her seat, as there is a federal regulation prohibiting anyone from moving about the cabin within 30 minutes of our nations capital... if she does, we will divert the plane and she will be arrested on the spot when we touch down." she relays the information, the crazy lady shakes her hands and laughs "oh no no no!" and nods in agreement that she understands. yes. i have total confidence that this crazy woman understands.

everyone takes their seat (oh wait... just the crazy woman. the rest of us had been patiently waiting with our seatbelts securely fastened for some time now), the door closes, and the plane taxis on to the runway where we wait for an hour to take off. i love newark. blah.

so while the crazy woman sits, sprawled between the two seats, her 72-hour survival kit (aka purse) on one side and the random chili's bag on the other, i watch her. i can't help myself. she is mesmerizing. her tiny little legs dangling above the floor. her dark brown plastic flip flops, that clearly met their match with a bedazzler at some point, just hanging on her big toes. she is fussing with her 3 boarding passes. she takes them out, flips through them. examines them. flips through them again. puts them away. a few minutes pass, and she goes through it all over again. i'm not sure if she was having trouble remembering where she was. or where she was going. or what planet she had landed on. but she was definitely obsessive about the boarding passes. at one point, the flight attendant walked passed and noticed she didn't have her seatbelt on, and commented to her that she needed to wear it. she proceeded to amaze me. who knew, people!? for YEARS i have made fun of the flight attendants for showing all of us "idiots" how to use a seatbelt. i have been known to say on more than one occasion to the person sitting next to me (which is usually burton)... "seriously... who doesn't know how to put on a seatbelt... and if they don't, how in the world do they have money for a plane ticket?" well folks... we had a winner. she took the same two ends of different seat belts and like a square peg and a round hole, tried to make them fit together. at this exact moment, i smiled and suddenly loved her. throughout the duration of the 32 minute flight, she shifted between seat 4B and 4C a few times, but nothing worthy of diverting the plane. she continued to check and recheck her boarding passes. and she continued to talk to herself in spanish... i'm sure mumbling about the crazy white girl to her left who was trying to sleep with her legs curled up on the arm rest in front of her and scribbling notes in the dark every few minutes.

p.s. if you're ever flying into DC, fly in at night and fly in to reagan national, and sit on the left side of the plane. holy beautiful view, batman!

ah, the memories

2008-07-24T13:54:00.003-04:00

so i realize i'm completely cheating by going three weeks without blogging and then coming back with a "tag", of sorts. but i'm all about memories. and i'm about as sentimental as they come. and since this is the latest "hot tag" on the blogsophere (or at least the mormon one), and so many of you are so willing to confess how much you miss me as it is (haha... no, but seriously... i miss you too)... here goes:

1. as a comment on my blog, leave one memory that you and i had together. it doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember!

2. next, re-post these instructions (minus my smarty-pants comments) on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. (apparently...) it's actually pretty funny to see the responses. if you leave a memory about me, i'll assume you're playing the game (<-- sort of didn't know this was a game... but if it makes you more excited to do it, then we'll just call it that) and i'll come to your blog and leave one about you. if you don't want to play on your blog, or if you don't have a blog, i'll leave my memory of you in my comments.

deal? deal.

idiocy challenge: dmv vs. simply wireless

2008-07-02T09:30:00.010-04:00

so, i'm not certain which is worse: waiting three hours to talk to an idiot... or talking to an idiot for three hours. lucky for me, i've recently become well acquainted with both. (strap yourselves in... it's a long one).

it all started with the decision to go to the dmv (dept of motor vehicles) on a saturday morning. i'll whole-heartedly refer to myself as an idiot for thinking this was a good idea. THIS was not a good idea. although, we thought the line looked long when we tacked ourselves onto the back of it just outside the front door, we could not have prepared ourselves for the image of 300+ people on the INSIDE of the building each holding a ticket to be seen at one of about 8 windows. we got to the first checkpoint where we explained that we were there to get a new VA title for our vehicle, new plates, new registration, new drivers licenses, etc. the gentleman rattled off a list of items he expected us to have in order to proceed with the transactions and we agreed we had all of them. he handed us the forms to fill out and two tickets. we moved our way into the maze of chairs and people to find a seat. we started filling out the forms and the paranoia set in. "what if we don't have what we need? what if we wait all this time and they make us come back 'cause we're missing something?" you can take your positive thinking theories and shove them... i can't help myself. my brain is wired to think of all possible scenarios. and aside from the scenario where everything works out perfectly, the remaining scenarios all consist of something not going right. so, there i sat. waiting and worrying.

i will point out that i had a good reason to worry. we had discovered that morning that the only piece of "acceptable" mail we had to prove burton's residence in virginia was a comcast bill with our neighbors address on it. (another really long and annoying story about how our apartment lease listed the wrong apartment number, so we had all our mail forwarded to our neighbors apartment, and it's been one big long nightmare to get it fixed.) so even though only an idiot wouldn't be able to see that we were clearly married, that we were clearly not living next door to one another and that we were clearly living in virginia regardless of the apartment number... i was nervous.

and so the seconds, minutes, yes... hours, ticked away and there we sat. "A093 to Window 12. B145 to Window 10. D989 to Window 2. C286 to Window 6." there is no doubt in my mind that this system makes sense to SOMEone. but mostly it just made me want to scream and punch people. our numbers were C303 and C304. although the "C" seems insignificant... trust me, it's not. "C" means that you end up in a different que than those lucky jerks who have something other than "C". which means while the A's, B's, D's, E's and F's are all filing through the windows like a happy visa card commercial, the C's are all in a que with the other idiots who thought saturday would be a good day to come to the dmv and do a long list of things like get new licenses and register their cars. the breaking point for me was when i saw the people who had been behind us in line, walk out the door with a smile on their faces... an HOUR before my number was even called.

anyway, while the frustration of waiting 2.5 hours to talk to someone was painful and driving me to the brink of total insanity, actually dealing with the dmv employees was almost worse. i'll just jump to the part where they wouldn't give burton his drivers license with the correct address on it. instead, what they were willing to do... HAPPY to do... was give him a drivers license with our neighbors address on it. sure, we were stupid for thinking we could convince dmv workers that there was no logic in this... but we tried. burton got that look on his face... the look that comes when i know he's about to go from really calm and collected to "i hate stupid people" mode. he explains in the are-you-stupid? voice, "so you're willing to knowingly give me a drivers license with the wrong address on it... issue me an official state document with the WRONG address on it... when i am telling you that it is not correct?" unfortunately for our sanity, that answer was yes. ironically, the dmv employee i was working with nearly printed a totally different apartment number on my drivers license, due to human error... perhaps if we'd switched idiots we'd have been totally fine. (is that mean? because really... honestly... someone explain to me how these people were anything but that word.)

so as i was wrapping everything up, the woman helping me asked "do you want to register your car for one year or two?" and i asked if there was any benefit in doing it for two, since there seemed to be no apparent financial benefit... she responded, "well, you don't have to come back here for two years" ... i replied, "don't take this the wrong way... but sign me up for two." and so after 45 minutes of dealing with dmv lemmings, we got to stand in another line and wait for our drivers license pictures to be snapped. then we waited another 30 minutes for burton's drivers license to get printed (after asking three different dmv employees multiple times why everyone else's was taking 30 seconds). and we finally walked out... just over three hours later.

as we were walking to the car i looked at burton's drivers license and burst out laughing. they spelled our street name incorrectly. and as we expected, according to the state of virginia, burton lives with the mexican family next door.

this is getting long, but i hope this is as entertaining for you as it is therapeutic for me.

so, last night... was the simply wireless experience. in hindsight, if only we'd known the ACTUAL sprint store was just around the corner. to make a painfully long story a little bit shorter... we were given the impression, by a sprint store employee at a different mall, that we could get a new "instinct" phone for free, with all our credits and discounts and rebates. these phones are tough to find right now, but we located two at a mall about 30 minutes away. we got there, they only had one. the girl, who was nice... but young and an (is there a nice word for idiot?), spent some time on the phone tracking down another one of the phones at a different store and said she'd be happy to go pick it up while we went to ikea for a couple hours. and so we left. a couple hours later, we returned and began the process of switching our numbers over. she estimated it would be about 20 minutes (cue hysterical laughter). after 2.5 hours of listening to this girl and her crazy haired coworker (literally, a black kid with hair that looked like my grandmas wig in the 80s) flirting and fighting about how to make this all happen, i was losing my patience. the mall had long since closed by this point and the only person left was a strange female security guard riding around on a segway with a helmet on (very intimidating, i must say).

so, they got our phones switched over, we were playing with the cool new features of the phone as they fought over how to ring everything up (they LITERALLY called their manager at least 25 times... who, although i only know through the other side of a series of phone conversations, was clearly an idiot as well), and the total came to $700 (which they assured us multiple times we would be getting back as a rebate in the mail). this was not how it was supposed to go down and the numbers just weren't adding up. as we tried to explain that this amount was AFTER our two $150 discounts... and the two $100 rebates we would be getting back in the mail still left us paying $500 out of pocket (i had to draw it out for them on a piece of paper)... it finally clicked and they said "ya... that's right... you'd still have to pay $500... you didn't think you'd be getting these phones for free, did you? 'cause that would never happen! these phones are cool." at this point, it was about an hour passed our bedtime... we were still 30 minutes from home, and we were PISSED. so... needless to say, we still have our crappy phones.

so... you decide... who wins? and you can't say us. :)

can't we all just get along

2008-07-01T14:33:00.002-04:00

it's hard to believe, sometimes, that i left canada more than a decade ago. 11 whole years. the first couple of years, i was still surrounded by my canadian friends. we were defined by our quirky canadian accents and constantly asked about the cariboo and igloos and free health-care and canadian bacon (which i had never even heard of until coming to the US, by the way). each year, when our canadian holidays would come around, we'd have parties and dinners and get-togethers to celebrate. we were often land-blasted with questions like "so, why is thanksgiving in october?... what are canadians thankful for?... canada day? why do they celebrate independence? independence from who?... what's with boxing day?" i will state, for the record, that these questions were typically asked by freshmen in college... who had little experience or knowledge about their own countries traditions, much less those of other countries... but i still hear them occasionally.

so, somewhere along the way, during the last 11 years... i lost my accent. my canadian friends all got farther and farther away. and we slowly stopped throwing parties and dinners and getting together to celebrate our holidays. and now... i live in the capital of the united states of america. so i assure you, no one cares in the slightest that today is canada day. but i do. i found myself humming "o canada" while making lunch, and i decided to dawn a red shirt today. if i'd been thinking ahead, i'd have planned a bbq or dinner or something... but again... pretty much me, myself and i are the only ones who care around these parts. and so... in three days, i'll go to the district of columbia and watch fireworks from the steps of the jefferson memorial and feel a sense of pride for my two countries. because really, that's how i feel. i found myself having a difficult time getting through "america the beautiful" without choking up in church on sunday... and while some canadians might have issue with my feeling of pride and love for the country in which i now live, and some americans might have issue with my feeling of pride and love for the country from which i come... frankly, i love them both. and that's just how it is. :) i'm a canerican! .... hahaha .... that was seriously stupid.

so, happy canada day! and happy early 4th of july!

non-smoking, please

2008-06-18T15:53:00.004-04:00

so... burton and i went out to dinner the other night to celebrate his completion of the GRE! and when we got there, there was a huge line (of course) and so we decided just to sit in the bar 'cause you don't have to wait, you just take a table.

so...

in utah, there's no smoking in restaurants, period. i think that's the same in a lot of places. but in virginia, apparently there is no such law yet. though it did seem to be confined to the bar section. ANYWAY, as much as it urkes to me that it's not totally and completely illegal to smoke next to me, i recognize that i chose to sit in that section and so there is something i can do to control the situation... but because of my lack of exposure to smoking in public places in recent years, i've had very little exposure to something else that surprisingly made me want to get up out of my chair and smack two full-grown adults... one of which could have easily beaten up burton (who is, of course, my bodyguard)... they were BOTH smoking, with their little girl sitting at the table with them. is it just me, or should they be locked away?!

i was SOOO close to saying something. i mean seriously... kill yourself. smoke away to your hearts content in the privacy of your own home. marry someone who smokes too and kill each other. i don't care. but bring a child into this world and into a home full of cigarette smoke and you might as well say "happy early birthday sally! a nice little present called lung cancer will be on its way in 40 years!"

i imagined that if i did actually say something that it would end up with a response something to the effect of "none of your effing business!" ... so that's the part that prevented me from speaking up. that and they were speaking icelandic or something. but i was surprisingly pissed off. i couldn't stop commenting to burton (in that "i'm a chicken, so i'll say it loud enough to make myself feel good but quiet enough that they probably won't hear me" voice) that i was sort of shocked how mad i was getting. fuming!

but i didn't say anything. we just finished our food and eventually left. sooo... would you have said something? am i being too judgemental for wanting to say something in the first place? have i just been in utah toooooo long? :)

we're not in provo anymore

2008-06-16T14:01:00.001-04:00

may you get as much joy from this future clio award winning commercial as i did...

holy hell!

2008-06-09T16:26:00.004-04:00

now... i know that seems like i just cursed... but believe me, that is where i am right now. and the only thing between me and what can only be described as such, is a thin piece of cheap glass. when i think of hell, i imagine sweating bullets right through your clothes, wanting to pass out, feeling like your skin is going to burn and peel right off your bones... well, my friends... welcome to northern virginia. :) who knew i moved to the core of the earth? i'd have understood why my moving truck took two weeks, if i'd known it was THAT kind of a move. but seriously people, i'm completely unprepared for this. i'm practically hiding in my apartment. listening to my over-worked air conditioner work his little guts out to keep me from complete suffocation. i actually opened my door to the outside today and gasped. like, gasping for air at first and then gasping because i can't believe it's only JUNE!! 102 degrees... 60% humidity. i live in the amazon rainforest!

in other news, we're having fun here. :) really. honestly. despite the heat (heat = major understatement) we're almost unpacked and starting to feel a little more settled. oh! and p.s. i thought packing was the worst. it turns out, that UNpacking is actually the worst. but our place is looking cute, even if the tv and the couch don't line up perfectly (sorry burton) and everything that should be in a storage room is stacked in the corner of our "2nd bedroom". and despite the fact that we were completely spoiled in our last apartment, we'll be just fine in this place.

now, if i can just leave my apartment without an oxygen mask, i could get some good blog material. oh! speaking of leaving my apartment. burton and i locked ourselves out of our apartment the other night (apprently, automatic locks on the front door are not idiot proof). AND, you want to guess how we got back in? not the maintenance guy, 'cause apparently they don't offer that service. not a spare key. not a locksmith. nope... it was a bunch of thugs with a credit card. :) so, i told burton that i think we need to make friends with said "thugs", so instead of being slightly worried now, i can feel safe that they're watching our back or something. you know... like they're with their other thug buddies who are about to break in to our apartment and they stop them and say "hey! these are good people. move on." you know... whatever thugs say to each other when they're protecting their "good people" friends. :) .... what....?

oh... and the deadbolt is permanently locked now. so, don't get any ideas all you thugs out there who read my blog.

i'm pretty sure "thug" is a word that old people use... but it's kinda funny... unless you ARE a thug, then maybe it's offensive. i'll ask my new thug friends and let you know.

for skyler

2008-06-05T12:04:00.001-04:00

this ones for you skyler. this is only because you're my friend and i really do appreciate the constant nudges to post more often. so here goes... another tag:

how long have you been married? 4 years, this coming august 14th.

how old is your spouse? 26… which is better than botox for an "older" woman such as myself

who eats more? burton. but i’m a “snacky-snackerton” as burton likes to say

who said i love you first? umm... i think it was me. i'm just forward like that. burton would also tell you that i kissed him first and that he was sleeping when i did so... but the jury is still out on that little fact. i mean, seriously? he was sleeping!? give me some credit here.

who is taller? b-dawg. 5' 11 and 3/4" (when you're not quite 6'... you just can't say you're 6')

who sings better? burton, for sure. unless he’s brutally murdering a song i like just to be funny

who is smarter? is this a trick question?

who controls the t.v. remote? it’s more like, “here… you find something to watch…”

whose temper is worse? i wouldn’t say temper… but i’m certainly more emotional… and burton is certainly not.

who does the laundry? it’s been pretty evenly spread between us over the years

who does the dishes? whoever doesn’t cook the meal, so usually burton

who sleeps on the right side of the bed? it’s been a back and forth thing… i started on the right (against the wall, as a matter of fact), then i got the left, and now i’m back on the right again.

who cooks dinner? usually me. or a local fast food restaurant worker. burton fills in when i just can’t take it anymore and he's feeling too cheap to go out.

who is more stubborn? we’re having a competition. i’ll tell you for sure in about 60 years.

who is the first to admit when they are wrong? i’m almost always the first to apologize… though i’ve been known to say things like “i’m sorry you’re frustrated with such and such thing i just did” or “i’m sorry that you think i said that”… which i kind of don’t think really counts.

whose parents do you see the most? burton’s parents lived only an hour away until recently when we packed up and moved across the country.

who has more friends? umm… i’m going to have to say me. but burton is way cooler.

who has more siblings? burton… but i have more friends, so whatev. :P

who wears the pants in the family? we both wear pants, except on sunday.

there you go... everything you probably already knew about burton and i.

1644 miles from everything i own

2008-05-27T16:07:00.004-04:00

point A - where we packed up everything we own and loaded it on to a HUGE moving truck a week ago tomorrow.

point B - where everything we own is currently sitting in a HUGE moving truck and will be sitting until THURSDAY when the movers will pick up another load... oh, and then ANOTHER load... and THEN will drive to point C... "by the earliest, next tuesday."

point C - where we are right now... waiting... and growling slightly... and almost cursing...

p.s. having a really cool driver named pedro who also happens to be mormon and couldn't get over how funny it is that you both have green cards, doesn't guarantee a smooth cross-country moving experience... but DOES kind of make you feel the urge to wear a "vote for pedro" t-shirt when he delivers your stuff two weeks later.

untimely sneezing

2008-05-16T14:17:00.004-04:00

i personally feel there's really almost nothing better than a good sneeze. and i'm pretty certain i'm not alone in this. i have often found myself feeling sorry for the tiny sneezers... the ones who hold it all in and just squeak their sneezes out. if they only knew they were missing out on one of the pure joys in life! perhaps it's because i grew up in a home with an extremely loud sneezer for a father. extremely loud = extreme understatement.

in fact, one time (random side story)... my family had come down to utah for education week at byu, and my friend, melissa, and i had just spent the day out and about, while my parents attended some classes. for some strange reason, we thought it totally possible to just FIND my parents on byu campus. we assumed they were attending a class at the marriott center, but that was just a guess. while walking around the hallway outside the actual arena, we could hear the class being broadcast over the loud speaker. all of a sudden, we heard this obnoxiously loud sneeze echo over the loud speaker. i turned to melissa and said "that was my dad!" she laughed. but i was certain. after the class got out, we somehow tracked my parents down and sure enough, it had been him. thousands of people in that arena, but i'd know my dad's sneeze anywhere. he said that when he sneezed every person within 50 feet of him turned and looked at him. atta boy! :)

so... back to my love of sneezing. so yesterday, burton and i were driving home from boxmart--where we've spent more money than i ever thought a person could spend on cardboard--and i sneezed twice. and while i love sneezing, i've found it's really kind of scary to sneeze while driving. because it means that for more than a split second blink your eyes are closed, and your arms and legs are a little uncontrollable, and it's just not ideal driving conditions. so i commented to burton "i hate sneezing while driving. it's just kinda scary." and burton said "i hate sneezing while peeing." .... and i'll give you a second ....

and then i couldn't stop laughing.

discussions amid paying bills

2008-05-12T13:24:00.002-04:00

me: "i'm on a mission to change how i write my capital G's ."

burton: "why?"

me: "because they look like a circle with an arrow on the end."

burton: "sounds like a pretty intense mission."

me: "it is. it's hard to do."

burton: "i'm on a mission to change my signature."

me: "what are you going to change it to?"

burton: "frank wright."

discussions over a sunday dinner

2008-04-28T15:29:00.005-04:00

burton: "i love wicker" (saying this primarily because i hate wicker)

me: "blah" (puking noises express my feelings well)

burton: "i think i want a wicker throne" (grape crystal light nearly makes it out my nose as i bust up laughing)

me: "so on your world, wicker will be cool then?"

for the love of a hot dog

2008-04-10T00:30:00.009-04:00

today, while standing in line at j-dawg's for lunch, i turned to burton and said "i should blog about this" ... i haven't blogged for THREE WEEKS... and THIS is the first idea that has come to my mind? j-dawg's? but what made me think it was blogworthy was burton's utter and total frustration with the situation. first of all, i must state that a j-dawg's polish dog is basically... well... amazing. but their set up could make the most patient person go a little crazy. see... there's two lines. the "order here" line... and then the "pick up here" line. the problem is, both of them are usually painstakingly long. so after about 15 minutes in the first line, we ordered our 2 polish dawgs and 2 sodas, and then had to move to the other line to wait for another 15 minutes to pick up the dawgs... at which point burton exclaimed "i can't believe we're going to wait 30 minutes for a HOT DOG!" (but babe... this isn't just ANY hot dog... you know better than that). though, it was cold and it did start to rain. but for some reason, there we all stood. construction workers, college students, and business men alike. all there for the mouthwatering "special sauce". so anyway, i'm not sure if this is turning out to be a positive or negative review... but whatever the case, trust me that standing in the freezing cold rain for 30 minutes outside this silly little hut is totally worth it.

tip: don't get your drink between lines... cup full of ice cold diet pepsi = cold hands.

no, you shut up!

2008-03-19T00:19:00.008-04:00

you know, i think i have just discovered the cure for blogger-block: walmart. i swear that there is not a single visit to walmart that doesn't result in something overwhelmingly blogworthy; albeit, usually it involves poking fun at people... but blogworthy, nonetheless.

i'm not going to spend much time talking about the lady who parked her car in the middle of the parking lot lane because she had clearly just had an encounter with the bumper of another car pulling out of a parking spot... even though i think most of us can agree that when in a fender-bender in a parking lot, the ideal reaction is not to leave your car in the way of everyone else who has not been in a fender-bender, but now has a slightly increased chance of it while trying to maneuver their way around a silly woman.

but i will tell you about the screaming child in the next aisle over from me. i will admit, although i know full well that some children just can't be contained and sometimes you just need groceries whether your child is the devil or not... i was a little irritated. mostly because i'm particularly sensitive to noise... i would have been equally (if not more) annoyed if i were being forced to listen to a full grown man whistle while he walked around the store... i know this because it has happened and i wanted nothing more than to yell "SHUT UP!" at him from the next aisle over. but yes, i was feeling a little irritated at the persistence of this very loud child. and then i heard someone ACTUALLY yell "SHUT UP!" wow. i wasn't sure at first if maybe this was the mother of the child. we all have our ways of copping; who am i to say that this approach isn't effective (though, i assure you it wasn't). but then i turned down the next aisle, and as my cart neared two elderly women exchanging opinions about the situation, i heard one say "does no one teach their children manners anymore?" and i smiled politely as i walked passed (oh... you are soooo blogworthy and you don't even know it!), only to hear the other one say "i know! it's appauling! i just yelled 'shut up', though it didn't seem to work!" HAHAHAHAH. i love the irony of those two phrases being included in the same cordial interchange without even so much as a flicker of awareness that some might consider yelling "shut up" falling a little outside the norm of so-called "manners" they've clearly been taught. they proceeded to go on and on (whilst i pretended i needed some soy sauce... ) about how they would never allow their children to behave like this in public and force other people to have to deal with such a miserable shopping experience. "if my children were to act like that, i would march them right back out to the car and we would go home!" yes... i see the logic in that. sure. because every mother has the time to pack her kids back in the car, after a completely unsuccessful trip to the world's worst walmart, and come back later, so that cranky women (i will wholeheartedly lump myself into that category for the 30 seconds of hatred i felt for the child) can shop in peace. peace = shopping amid thousands of utah's finest. (<-- that is my attempt at self-restraint right there. just for the record.)

so yes... of course i would prefer a walmart shopping experience minus the child mimicking the most annoying sound in the world. but i'd also prefer not to stand in line to check out for 45 minutes. and i'd love it if walmart employees were actually helpful. and i'd also love it if they carried chalkboard erasers. but THAT is the cost of saving $50 on my grocery bill.

i married a monkey

2008-03-13T17:01:00.009-04:00

so... sometimes you're just not really in the mood to blog. and then other times, you get an email from your brother-in-law packed with old pictures of the family... and you run across a picture of a boy who will one day be your husband... and a girl who will one day be your sister-in-law... and BLOG, you must!

i really have nothing to say about this picture, except...

haHahahAHahAhaHAhahahA

data entry with a twist

2008-02-27T14:22:00.013-05:00

i'll admit, i've been suffering from some serious blogger-block the last two and a half weeks (holy cow... it's really been that long... wow), and i have been at a loss for what to blog about... until i saw THIS on my facebook homepage...

WHAT THE...?!?!? besides the fact that i OBVIOUSLY wish that was my body, i was slightly amused by the actual job listing associated with this ridiculously shameless picture: "data entry worker" (funny, yes)... when i think of data entry workers, this is definitely what comes to mind. "no experience necessary" (definitely funnier now). that's right. we don't care if you've ever used a computer in your life. if you haven't a clue about typing or data entry... no need to worry. just so long as you've got rock hard abs and a killer rack... you're just the girl we're looking for. clearly, i missed the part in my advertising classes where they taught that "it really doesn't matter what you're trying to sell, just put a half-naked girl in the ad and you're good to go"... unless you're trying to sell beer or sports cars... or push-up bras... and then of course, that's really your best option.

how much you want to bet that girl didn't think her picture was going to end up next to a want ad for data entry workers? :)

a good cry

2008-02-08T16:11:00.000-05:00

i'm sure it's been quite obvious that my blog has taken a backseat in my life the last month or so. i've written a few half hearted entries and contemplated many more, but this month has been strange. for someone who enjoys poking fun at herself and the world around her, it's tough to know what to say when there's so many emotions floating around that have nothing to do with laughter. and so... i decided to write how i'm really feeling. acknowledging that somewhere deep inside, i just need a good cry.

i've been pondering a lot this month. birth. death. babies. grandparents. miracles. faith. it's been one of those months where the list of people in my prayers has gotten longer by the day. and it's been hard to see how some prayers are answered with joy... and some are answered with an almost unthinkable saddness. there have been so many moments this month where i've known so clearly that the life of a friend or family member had just changed forever. at some moments, lives that meant so much to so many were teetering on the edge of slipping to the other side. and in some cases, those wonderful and amazing spirits have left us, leaving us to ponder our faith and testimony in what is to come. and in some cases, we've been blessed with miracles that keep these lovely spirits here, causing us to wonder in awe how it all happens.

i wish there was a way to truly describe how much i love the people in my life. mostly, i am in awe. i am in total awe of the faith that so many have. that a little baby can fight for life despite all the odds working against him. that a 93 year old woman can be so discouraged and ready to call it quits and then talk to her grandchildren and find the strength inside to keep on going. that a mother and a father can find such tremendous strength to endure an inevitable trial of losing their little girl who was never meant to stay. that a worldwide church -- 13 million strong and growing -- can find an almost unexpected joy in the departure of the prophet because they all have such faith that he served well and is reunited with his lovely wife, who he missed so dearly. that a ward is so willing to serve... even people they've never met.

it's sort of shocking to me to think back on the month and realize that i have cried over some of the most heartwrenching of circumstances... and then cried over my haircut. (don't get me wrong... love the haircut... but it was a little traumatic. silly girl moment.) and so... that's me. that's how i'm really feeling. sad. happy. frustrated. determined. overjoyed. heartbroken. loving my new hair. missing my old hair. melancholy. grateful. bored. chaotic. impatient. patient. thanks for sharing your lives with me. and letting me share mine with you. isn't it great we're all in this thing called life together?

and now... i'm going to go watch seinfeld, and get my funny bone back. it's time for laughing again.

separation anxiety

2008-01-31T16:42:00.000-05:00

so long, farwell, auf wiedersehen, good bye...

dyed in the wool

2008-01-22T15:36:00.000-05:00

here's what i want to know. when people say that they will or will not vote for someone, what are they basing it on? when they say there's plenty of reasons they won't vote for someone, or they just think so-and-so is such a great candidate and would make an amazing president... do they know something i don't know? or are they just saying it based on who they "think" the candidate is?

i consider myself fairly well informed when it comes to the presidential race. i've watched the presidential debates (both sides). i've tried to keep an open mind about it. i've dabbled in MSNBC, CNN, FOXnews, etc. and listened to their responses, to try and keep things as balanced as you can be with the mainstream media. i've talked to people who avidly support candidates from both parties. i've received email forwards (see mrs. dub's post for today about how much email forwards SUCK), though mostly from republicans bashing on democrats... not sure if that's just a coincidence. i've tried to read up on the candidates and the overall party platforms. but... i just don't get it. how are people so committed to one political party over another?

i have pretty much determined, at least for now, that i have two choices when the time comes that i can actually vote (yeah for 2012!): i can either be a democrat who disagrees with a number of issues typically associated with the democractic party, or i can be a republican who disagrees with a number of issues typically associated with the republican party. but in either case, i'm not totally sold. so, does that make me an independent? and am i really ok with that?

so what is it? is it because that's the way your parents voted? is it because it's NOT the way your parents voted? is it really because of one or two specific issues? or are you so well-versed in both political parties and all the candidates that your opinions are incredibly well-founded? how do you decide you love romney and hate obama... or hate huckabee and love clinton... or (dare i say) kind of like mccain, romney, obama AND clinton?!

so... on what do you base your decision about who you vote for and/or what political party you espouse to? and is that it? are you done forever? dyed-in-the-wool, through-and-through member of such-and-such political party come what may?

i'm just trying to get ready for 2012... so bare with me here. :)

have you seen sicko?

2008-01-20T21:36:00.000-05:00

so, how did i go more than a week without writing anything!? especially after such a fun post where so many people popped by to say hi. :) this week was insane. work was insane. and then there was something going on every night, it seemed. BUT i did go to yoga TWICE! i'm giving myself a little pat on the back right now and tooting my own little horn and pinning a rose on my nose, and all that fun stuff... but i really am proud of myself.

anyway...

what i really want to talk about is the documentary "sicko", by michael moore. i just watched it last night. i'm not sure how many people have seen it... but i'm curious, if you HAVE seen it, what you thought? i'm not really eager to start some kind of war for or against universal healthcare on my blog (though, i do love a good debate), but i thought the documentary was really really interesting, and i want to talk to people about it. so, i want to know if any of you have seen it. anyone? anyone? and if you have.... what did you think? did it effect the way you thought about universal healthcare? if you're for it, how come? if you're against it, why?

and how many of you are seriously considering a move to france after watching it?

come on... delurk yourself... you know you want to

2008-01-11T12:57:00.000-05:00

just when i thought i was finally getting a handle on all things bloggy... i find out about delurker week. who knew? so... i guess the idea is that i say "i see you!" and you come out from your hiding place and say "hi! i'm so-and-so, and i occasionally read your blog." sounds sort of like we're starting a support group or something... but it sort of sounds like fun.

i'm one of those dorky people who looks at their blog analytics to see how many people looked at their site, and where they're from... but i've given up trying to figure out who you all are. until now... i guess i'm allowed to ask now. so, who are you? of course, i know a lot of you... but i know for a fact that there's people in places i've never even heard of who are reading my blog... unviel yourself. say a little hello. tell me about yourself. introduce me to your own blog, if you've got one.

and even if i already know you... say hi. :) it's national delurker week! could we get any dorkier people?! :) yeah for blogging!

decades of deliberation have come to this

2008-01-09T19:49:00.000-05:00

we've all been asked this silly question... if you found a genie in a lamp and you could have three wishes, what would they be? (and of course the third one can't be more wishes... but we all wish it could be, don't we?) so, after much deliberation throughout my life, i think i've narrowed it down to three solid answers:

1. i never want to have to stop at a red light or stop sign or even yield to merging traffic ever again. i want all lights to be green when i get there, all stop signs to be for other people, all cars to yield to me. i want to be able to walk out the door, get in my car, turn it on and go. and not have to stop or slow down until i get where i'm going. the eternal green light.

2. i want a soundtrack for my life. i have always wanted that... perfect music to play at the perfect moment. and not just on my ipod... i mean a REAL soundtrack. like hugh grant wandering the streets of london after having his heart torn to pieces while hearing bill withers sing "ain't no sunshine when she's gone", or hearing wreckless eric take over singing "whole wide world" for will ferrell as maggie gyllenhaal suddenly kisses him on the couch. music just makes everything better. it makes the moment more moving, more passionate, more intense... so ya, i want a soundtrack.

3. i want that perfect pair of jeans to last forever. and my favorite shirts to never fall apart. and my favorite sweaters need to not do that weird fluff ball thing or stretch into weird shapes or shrink to the size of a babyGAP sweater... they need to stay looking exactly the way they did in the store. oh... and my favorite clothes need to always fit... no matter how much what i'm trying to stuff in them may have increased in size (is that kind of like sneaking in a 4th wish?)

so... if you found a genie in a lamp and you could have three wishes, what would they be? and no wishing for more wishes... geez.

ahem

2008-01-08T23:32:00.000-05:00

don't you just love those kind of friends where you can go weeks or months or sometimes even years without talking, and then suddenly you find yourself picking up the phone and calling and it's like you haven't even skipped a beat?

i hope this is one of those moments...

remember me? i went away to canada sometime in mid-december... i didn't even say good-bye. i just left. fell off the face of the blogosphere. left comments here and there. but mostly just hid out. well... i'm back. and here's to being the kind of friends who can just pick up where we left off! :)

is it too late to say merry christmas? how about happy new year? a little too early to say happy human rights day... anyway. i feel like it's been so long, i hardly know where to begin. i left off talking about how lame i was at 15. i'm glad to hear i wasn't alone in that; albeit, a little nervous to have a 15 year old of my own someday.

anyway... this is one of those lame blog posts where no one comments because it's about nothing in particular, but i just thought i'd say hi. i'm here. working long hours and completely nullifying the fact that i took a vacation. but i'm here.

p.s. i went to yoga today. aren't you proud of me? and it's not a new year's resolution... it's a last year's resolution revisited.

1994... i was 15 years old

2007-12-19T15:23:00.000-05:00

last night, i spent a couple hours reading through some of my old journals (how it's possible that i don't have time to get ready in the morning, but i find a few hours to do random stupid stuff like this, i have no idea). i picked up 1994.

what i learned about 1994 is that in 1994 i was a total BRAT! somehow, at 15 i'd convinced myself that i was totally normal... that i wasn't a brat, but that at some level i'd been jipped. all my friends were turning 16 before me. they were all dating before me, driving before me... and i was entitled to the same. if they got to jump off a bridge, so should i, dang it!!

i cannot tell you how embarrasing it was to read "my parents are so dumb" ... "my mom is being so lame" ... "i'm so annoyed with my dad. he's being totally unfair" on every other page. all i wanted to do was talk on the phone... that's it. talk on the phone. for hours. every page was filled with "i *heart* so-and-so... and so-and-so... and so-and-so". and what really surprised me is how often i said church was dumb. "went to church today... it was dumb"... occasionally i'd have these really great experiences with church and that seemed to keep me going, but so weird... no idea how i managed to stay so committed to it all amid phrases like "church is dumb".

seriously... i can't believe how "15" i was. same person... completely different brain. and vocabulary. i'm too embarrased to even admit the words i used to describe people i didn't like or was mad at. and my thought process was insane. "so-and-so said he might have to go to jail... i really hope he doesn't. that would be so lame." hahaha... ya, lame. that's the word. or how about "so-and-so hung up on me. he's such a jerk. i so hope he likes me." no shame. are all 15 year old girls this crazy!? maybe teenagers in general?

so anyway...

to my parents: i'm sorry i said you were dumb and unfair (even if it was just in my journal).
to my church leaders: i'm sorry i was such a brat.
to my teachers: i'm sorry i said i was going to the bathroom and then went to the library to talk to boys for 25 minutes, and then came back and lied and told you i just wasn't feeling well (and i'm sorry i was such a good liar that you believed me).
to my girlfriends: i'm sorry i liked all the same boys you did.
to my boyfriends: i'm sorry i liked so many of you all at once.
to my husband: i'm sorry i was so weird. thank goodness you didn't meet me half my life ago.
to my future children: hopefully this will make me more understanding when you're a crazy teenager and you think i'm dumb and all you want to do is talk on the phone.

ah... journals. and pink pens. why the crap did i use pink pens?!

mmmm... florence.

2007-12-14T13:20:00.001-05:00

i know these stories are a little late... but now that i have watched our videos (finally!), i'm feeling compelled to share.

so... one of the last places burton and i went to on our europe trip was florence, italy. we were only there for a couple of days, but it ended up being one of our favorite parts of the trip. primarily because of stuff like you'll see in the pictures and video below.

the first night we were there, we decided to wander the streets. our first moment of overwhelming awe came as we turned a corner (i love how everything is like that in florence... you turn a corner and VOILA!) and saw the duomo for the first time. the colors of this cathedral were seriously some of the most amazing things i've ever seen in my life. pictures just don't do it justice.

then we bought gelato... real italian gelato. which was pretty much a life changing moment for me. i don't have pictures of this earth shattering occasion in my life, but it was an epiphany moment. and trust me... there's nothing like it here. anywhere. we've looked. not even in little italy. the good stuff that will change you forever requires a plane ticket.

and you can't go to florence and not fall in love with this bridge. this bridge!! amazing. just LOOK at it!! oh man, now i'm homesick for my holiday...

and then there was the moment we've captured on video (below). we came around this corner (see... another corner) and heard her... natalia lopushanskaya. what we heard before we turned the corner sounded like a concert. we thought for sure we were going to see something "grand" as we neared the courtyard. but then we saw her... in her jeans and a t-shirt. standing in a dark archway to take advantage of the acoustics. and i've never heard anything like it in my life. even now, watching the video, it gives me chills. i was stopped dead in my tracks. so... here's a little piece of italy to share with you.

oh to be in greece again...

2007-12-13T11:55:00.000-05:00

so... it's been about 8 months since burton and i went to europe. and it's been about 2 years since we got our video camera. and it's been about 4 days since i received a firewire cable for my birthday so i could finally download video from our camera. and so this is it... my first real video post.

i chose this segment of video from our trip (sorry there's no ACTUAL pictures of greece) because i have to comment on how weird it is to see yourself and hear yourself in videos. we've all done it. we remember hearing ourselves on the answering machine for the first time and thinking "is that really me? is that really what i sound like?!" and this (above) is one of the first videos i've seen of myself as an adult just telling a story. so... that's me, huh? that's really the facial expressions and hand gesters i make? who knew my eyebrows were so animated? and note to self: don't pull out the video camera with no make-up on.

but seriously... aren't burton and i funny? haha. and it's said "Ah-Gee-Nah"... don't ask me what i was smoking...

p.s. i need a mac. "windows movie maker" is stupid.

(UPDATE: i decided to add pictures of the things mentioned in the video, since "windows movie maker" sucks and i can't figure out how to add them to the movie... if that's even an option with this stupid program)

ferry to aegina island.

place where we ate lunch at the bottom of the island.

out of gas. and lost.

burton in the mediterranean sea. (clothes on)

gulp

2007-12-08T12:40:00.000-05:00

and the countdown to 30 begins...

please pull forward

2007-12-06T20:39:00.000-05:00

it recently occured to me that i've never shared this odd little tid-bit about myself on my blog. which is strange, considering all the odd things i HAVE shared about myself on my blog. in any case... i'm cursed. not like some witch cast a spell and i'm cursed... but it's still a curse, nonetheless.

the discovery of my curse was a gradual thing. at first, it started with sheer frustration over my situation. then other people started noticing... and then overtime it just became blatantly obvious... i simply cannot use the drive-thru without a problem with my order.

now, i will admit... i am a tad bit picky. no... precise. ya, precise. i like things a certain way. but not in some crazy, extra pickles, no mayo, tomato on the side, baked potato instead of fries, toast the bun a little, kind of way. just in the no mayo please, kind of way. that's it. in 90% of drive thru circumstances... that's all i ask. however...

it's always wrong. something... is always wrong.

there will always be mayo on the burger when i clearly asked for none, normal fries instead of curly fries, no mayo AND no ketchup instead of just no mayo, the wrong beverage, no pickle because the person next to me asked for no pickle, baja sauce instead of NO baja sauce, fried rice instead of white rice... you get it.

so i've tried different techniques. i've tried speaking slowly. i've tried offering the information before being asked. i've tried only answering the questions i'm asked. i've tried having them read my order back to me. i've tried keeping it simple and not asking for anything out of the ordinary at all (though really... is no mayo really that out of the ordinary!?). i've even tried having OTHER PEOPLE order for me. and still... problems.

it wasn't until i found that even when coworkers took my order, wrote it down, left me at the office, arrived at the drive thru, placed my order right along with theirs, and delivered my meal back to me,... i knew for certain i was really and truly cursed. their order would be perfectly perfect. and mine would be wrong.

so that's it. i'm right up there with male models who can't turn left. i can't do the drive thru.

one more...

2007-11-28T02:19:00.000-05:00

so, i have one more thing to be thankful for...

ummm... flat irons!

and yes, that is me taking myself way too seriously. and please disregard the wrinkles on my forehead... i'm pretending they're not there, so you can too!

10 days of thanksgiving countdown - day 1

2007-11-23T01:51:00.000-05:00

happy thanksgiving!!! so today... what i'm really grateful for is family. and juicy turkey. and marvelous mashed potatoes. and amazing gravy. and dill and lemon zest carrots. and raspberry AND orange jello salads. and a great turkey comatose nap. and a great movie. and leftover turkey on leftover rolls. mmmm. yeah for thanksgiving!

10 days of thanksgiving countdown - day 2

2007-11-22T00:50:00.000-05:00

today, i'm grateful that we all grow up... AND that the 90s are over.

ahem... front row, 3rd from the right. don't ask.

10 days of thanksgiving countdown - day 3

2007-11-20T14:52:00.000-05:00

there was a time, when i was about 13, that i didn't want to be seen in public with these two people (you're pretty much at your lamest, at 13). there was a time, when i was in college, that i called these two people almost every night and cried because i was so homesick. and now, these two people are my friends. i don't know what most people's relationships are like with their parents, but my parents have always walked the fine line between being a parent and being a friend pretty well. my recollections of life in the sheppard home consist of a lot of laughing, a lot of debates around the kitchen table, a lot of sleep-overs and parties and playing, a lot of good food and good company, lots of advice and counsel and direction. sure we fought and cried and stomped our feet and slammed some doors and maybe there was the occasional dangling of spit over someone's face... but there was just as much thanking and forgiving and praying and sharing and hugging and kissing (yuck... haha).

when i stop and think... REALLY think about my life, i can't help but be so grateful for my parents. for their love and support and encouragement... for their dedication to our family and to our church and to the community and to each other. anyone who knows my parents (no matter what age) has to make sure to tell me how much they love my parents. how fun they are and what wonderful people they are. it's usually followed by some form of the word "crazy"... but who doesn't need a little crazy in their lives?! :)

so today... i'm grateful for my mom and dad. leigh and winona. the people who taught me how to get things done and make it happen and do what's right and stand for what you believe and tell it like it is and love people and enjoy life and spell it correctly. thank you. i love you both! (and this cute picture).

10 days of thanksgiving countdown - day 4

2007-11-20T00:32:00.001-05:00

who couldn't love this face!? today, i'm grateful for this guy.

(well, technically i'm grateful for him everyday...

but today's the day i choose to say it on my blog)

10 days of thanksgiving countdown - day 5

2007-11-19T01:41:00.000-05:00

i'm thoroughly grateful for the amazing array of poorly made mormon movies.

p.s. no, i'm not. going FIVE days without poking fun at something is REALLY hard. :)

10 days of thanksgiving countdown - day 6

2007-11-18T01:00:00.000-05:00

today, i'm particularly grateful for the awesome women that so many of my male friends have married. yeah for girlfriends by marriage! :)

10 days of thanksgiving countdown - day 7

2007-11-16T23:31:00.001-05:00

every once in awhile, i get the urge to pull out old photos. i am a sucker for nostalgia. i could look through pictures and letters and journals for HOURS. today i found this little gem. yep, that's me (a.k.a. the female version of my brother). and i have to say, i LOVED that fisherprice house. i can still vividly remember what each little room looked like and all the little furniture that went inside it. and so today, i'm grateful for a few things...

a great childhood.

wicked sweet 80s toys.

awesome 80s clothes.

and the old school pictures to prove it.

10 days of thanksgiving countdown - day 8

2007-11-15T22:43:00.000-05:00

today... i'm grateful for smiles and friendly people.

10 days of thanksgiving countdown - day 9

2007-11-14T19:16:00.000-05:00

every morning, i wake up and have a fight with my alarm. it usually goes something like this: "beep beep beep". snooze. snuggle up tighter under my covers. 10 minutes later. "beep beep beep". snooze. turn over and snuggle more. 10 minutes later. "beep beep beep". FINE!! i LOVE my bed. i spent an entire summer in beds that weren't mine (my in-laws, a handful of different beds in europe, my bro & sis in-laws, our place in dc, etc etc etc) and when the time came to sleep in my own bed again... HEAVEN! let me explain what heaven looks like: it looks like a pillow top bed, with a feather bed on top, and a bed cover on top of that, covered in soft sheets and a big fluffy duvet... with a down pillow on the side.

so, anyway... i am grateful for a comfy bed, for a comfy couch (see above), for comfy throw pillows, and a comfy blanket... i am grateful for sleep. i love sleep. if i had a top ten list of favorite things in this world, at least one of them would be sleep. and another one might be naps. and another one might be sleeping-in. and another one would be hagen daz chocolate covered ice cream bars with almonds.

10 days of thanksgiving countdown - day 10

2007-11-13T17:41:00.001-05:00

i decided that i need a change of pace around here. sure, it sometimes feels good to complain (thank goodness for me, i do it so well), and it's often more entertaining to poke fun at things... but i think it's time to change my tune (for a few days, at least). so, i'm going to do a 10 day countdown to thanksgiving, by talking about the things i'm grateful for. 'cause as much as complaining feels good... being grateful feels a whole lot better. (and i'll try to avoid laying the cheese on thick.)

so...

i'll start out my countdown by saying, i am grateful for technology... i love technology, for all you napoleonites out there. it may seem like a silly thing to be grateful for... maybe even something that you'd only expect the daughter of a computer geek to say (fancy that), but i really do. because of technology, i get to work from home. i will forever be grateful for this time of my life, when burton and i are home together most of the day. and i'm so grateful that i can work from virtually anywhere.

i also get to stay in touch with my parents in canada for free (well, besides paying for the actual internet). i get to touch base with so many of my dear friends on a much more consistent basis than if it required me to write a letter. though, back in the day, when i was sending friends on missions and paying for long distance to call the next town over, i did have a pretty complex system of keeping track of letters written, letters received, and letters needing reply. but now, it's simple. and i love it.

i'm particularly grateful for technology today, because today my internet went down for the majority of the day. which means i spent the majority of the day in a panic trying to get it back up, since my office phone runs through my internet connection as well. comcast got a healthy dose of "frustrated janaya" today, and although they were of no assistance (see how quickly a gratitude post turns into a complaining post? ... but watch how fast i switch it back!)... burton was my lifesaver! he fixed it. so i'm also grateful for a husband who works so hard in school that he ended up with an entire day with nothing to do, but help me fix the internet.

yeah, for technology! (and over-achieving husbands!)

a padded room sounds quiet

2007-11-12T18:04:00.000-05:00

i really really REALLY want to be the kind of person who doesn't get easily irritated by things. but alas... i am not. as i type this, i am already in kind of a grumpy mood (work... the sucky stock market... work... not being out of town still... work... did i mention the sucky stock market?), so it's making the irritation meter a lot more sensitive than it might be otherwise. BUT... there are about 6 things happening to me simultaneously right now that are making me want to scream (again... because, yes... i have literally already thrown my laptop and slammed a door whilst kind of screaming... but more like grunting):

the elderly couple upstairs (bless their sweet hearts... i really do like them) have their grandkids over... and as much as i love kids... CAN THEY PLEASE STOP RUNNING!!!?!?!? it literally sounds like they're running in circles... stomping their feet as they go. and then stopping to wrestle every 45 seconds.

each time they stomp, the window next to me rattles. loudly. constantly.

someone upstairs is playing the piano. and if they were my child, i might be proud... but they're not... so the feeling is something more akin to hate.

burton doesn't have homework right now, so he's playing a game on his laptop... and each time he does something right, there's a little tinkerbell noise that plays through his headphones... i can still hear it. i love him... but the game needs to beat it.

there's at least 4 or 5 other noises i'm hearing right now that are driving me batty. and i have a headache. but... all things considered, i'm still overreacting. is this the part where they try to convince me that a nice white room with padded walls will ease my mind and calm me down? oh, and this jacket with arms that tie around the back is just to help me relax.

oblivious

2007-11-08T21:49:00.000-05:00

so... i realized today (actually, i've realized this before today, but it was refreshed in my mind today) that there are a lot of people out there... most people, it sometimes seems... who are completely oblivious to the weird and annoying things about them. for example:

people who interrupt
people who brag
people who have to be right ALL the time
people who have to be in charge
people who say "ummm" every other word
people who say "you know" before and/or after every sentence
people who awkwardly laugh at the wrong moments or for no reason
people who repeat themselves
people who repeat themselves
people who invite themselves to things
people who lie about little things all the time
people who talk too much
people who talk too little
people who are picky
people who complain about everything

you get my point. and even though, about 80% of the list above describes me (... ok... 90%), and i know that... i have to wonder... what annoying things about me do i not know?

and so i ask you first... what annoying things about you are you fully aware of, but can't seem to kick?

and then i hesitantly ask you (if you feel so inclined to answer)... what annoying things about me do you think i'm completely oblivious to... and you wish i wasn't? :) be nice. but seriously... i can't take the thought of being one of those people who hasn't got a clue.

i'm going to regret this huh? :)

embracing the insanity

2007-11-07T18:50:00.000-05:00

yep... it's the first week of november, and it's already beginning to look a lot like christmas... every where you go... da da da da da dum. and i've decided that this year, instead of being scrooge about it and complaining about how it's not even thanksgiving and i'm already hearing christmas music in costco and bumping into christmas trees in the mall... i'm going to enjoy it. i mean i love the holidays. i love christmas. i love the music. and the decorations (ahem... SOME of them). and the food. and the cards. and the phone calls. and the presents.... and come on... the clothes, people. you can never have too many pea-coats. or scarves. or sweaters. anyway... this year is going to be different. i'm going to embrace the spirit of christmas. now. november 7th. shockingly... i've even thought about sending out christmas cards this year... on time. but don't count on it.

so... merry 48-days-before-christmas! and a happy 55-days-before-new-years too!

do they make 48 day advent calendars?... 'cause sign me up!

i've been tegged (said with a canadian accent)

2007-11-02T16:34:00.000-04:00

so, i have been informed by a creative-smart-handsome-intelligent-athletic-wonderful-someone-who-threw-a-great-Halloween-party (see comments on previous post) that i was tagged (or tegged, as it would sound if i actually said the word out loud... i simply cannot help it). though the actual tag is unclear... i THINK i'm supposed to write 8 odd tidbits about burton and i. so, here goes...

when i was 16 and burton was 12, unbeknownst to either of us, i attended his ward in farmington, utah with my friend matt (who was in the same ward) while on a family vacation at cherry hill campground. if someone had told me that day that i would marry one of the deacons passing the sacrament, i'd have laughed in their face 'til it hurt.
burton and i have driven from the west coast to the east coast of the united states together, travelled to 26 US states and 7 countries together, and 1 canadian province... which i'm from... that part is pathetic.
burton and i kissed before we'd ever even been on a date. THAT is what i call a solid foundation, people!
when burton got his family together and told them he had an announcement, in order to tell them he had received his mission call and was going on a mission (something they weren't expecting), his whole family thought he was announcing that we were getting married. his dad's comment to me afterwards -- "we would have been happy either way" ... ya right! :)
i usually cook.
burton usually cleans.
neither of us want to thaw the chicken. (i'm clearly running out of tidbits)
we have an on-going disagreement about whether the bottle of hand soap should sit on the rim of the sink or on the counter behind the sink... and everyday it's moved back and forth about a dozen times. insanity, i tell you.

and the list goes on... but that's where it gets too personal... and a little TOO odd. so... i'm supposed to tag two other people. so... (1) whit and ben... because they're blog slackers lately. and (2) becki and jeff... because they're entertaining. :)

(UPDATE: err.... i've been to two canadian provinces. which is still pathetic... but not to be trumped by the patheticness of not remembering that.)

a pimp and a... wha?

2007-10-31T13:19:00.000-04:00

despite the fact that burton didn't intend to go as a "pimp" for halloween, but rather a "70s guy" (whatever that is), and we both thought our costumes were as far from a "couple costume" as you could get, as soon as we walked through the door to the halloween party and someone said "hey! it's a pimp and his witch!", we knew there was more we could have done with it.

this year, was like many before it -- we start to think about halloween months beforehand, and say things like "this year we should really do something cool. this year's going to be different because we're talking about it early." and then 2 days before the halloween party comes, we're scrambling around trying to think of something "cool" to do. we spent an evening driving around to various places, looking for the perfect costume. burton finally decided to just go as something he'd been before, but i only had pieces of old costumes, so i was out of luck.

we went to D.I. (secondhand store) and i just stood there amid the hundreds of painfully ugly shirts and started to pout. "i hate halloween. i hate trying to find a costume. i hate secondhand stores. i hate the smell of moth balls. i hate spending money on a stupid costume every single year that i will wear for one friggin' night, when i could buy a new shirt or a pair of shoes that i'll wear everyday." (ok... not EVERYday. gross.) finally, i said, "let's leave. i need to leave. i can't be here anymore." and we left (but not before burton made me try to slip a childrens winnie-the-pooh costume over my head... too bad it couldn't fit over my huge pouty lip).

we made our way to a halloween costume store. i hate to be a broken record and say the same thing i said last year... but seriously, what the crap is with halloween!? is it too much to ask for a costume that covers my butt cheeks? i'll spare you my soap box speech about how halloween has become a holiday to celebrate the glamorous livestyle of hookers, and how disappointing it is that WOMEN are perpetuating the problem, because THEY are the ones BUYING the freaking costumes. (ok... i'll at least spare you the long version of my speech). anyway, i found a witch costume tucked way at the back... it was classic, it covered my "parts", and it wasn't too expensive, so i decided that from now on, each october 31st... i'm gonna be a witch. (and apparently, one with an attitude problem).

gracefully grey

2007-10-31T00:05:00.000-04:00

when you're still trying to figure out how to go a full week without breaking out... is it really fair to be getting grey hair? and wrinkles? and finding that your joints aren't what they used to be? it's not. it's not fair. and there is absolutely nothing "graceful" about going grey while propped pricariously on the bathroom counter, feet in the sink, tweezers in one hand and a handful of hair in the other, squinting in the mirror as i go on a safari for the dreaded grey hair hiding amongst the millions of dark ones. and i swear... i SWEAR that there's more everyday. and the stuff i pluck, just comes back for more. i'm sure you'd never notice (mostly because it's become an obsession, and i leave no prisoners), but it's there... mocking me as i near my final 366-day (leap year) descent towards 30.

thank heavens for hair color. do they sell an acne treatment anti-wrinkle cream? :)

the bottom of the barrel

2007-10-26T02:09:00.000-04:00

i have definitively concluded that when you live innnnn...... hmmm... (oh, who am i kidding?... the cat's out of the bag about where i live)... provo, work at home all day (during which time my husband is typically home -- for all you weirdo stalker people who might think that's an invitation to come visit), leave the home primarily for purposes of shopping for groceries, picking up movies, returning movies, and occasionally (haha) going to yoga, and have developed an unnatural virtual relationship with 400+ of my closest friends (on facebook) ranging from kids i played "house" with in kindergarten to people i have yet to meet in my ward .... there's really nothing to blog about.

let me sum up the blog posts you've been so blessed to read since i returned to happy valley... i wrote about unpacking, introduced you to my dad, talked about how i gained weight over the summer and my clothes don't fit anymore, unveiled some bizarre recollections about highschool and prom, talked about september 11th (because everyone else was), wrote about how i had nothing to write about (always worth writing about), made not-so-subtle hints about how i want people to take their shoes off when they come visit me and brush their behinds off before they sit on my stupidly white couches, wrote about the gynaecologist... TWICE, can't forget the image of me cursing at the frozen chicken in my freezer, took a little trip down memory lane and introduced you to my freshman year at ricks, complained about hell week, said farewell to the shafer's, complained again about the specifics of hell week, cursed cyber-space for losing my blog post, and asked you a stupid question. and that brings me to today. where again, i find myself writing about how i have nothing to write about.

maybe i should start a countdown to when i will depart this blissfully boring valley of happiness, and enter the entertaining world of insanity... of course, i'm sad to leave (yadda yadda)... but my blog is STRUGGLING people! i've even started writing ideas for blog posts... like how about how the gilmore girls talk like they're blogging -- maybe that makes no sense to people, but seriously... it's like one big long run on sentence (ok... maybe they talk like they're reading MY blog). anyway... that idea sounded stupid, so i dropped it... until now, aren't you lucky?

then i thought about poking a little fun at the silly emails people forward to me, on an almost daily basis, that all fall into one of three categories: (1) are totally and completely false and should be recognized as such simply because... pretty much any forward about a missing person, something someone said that we should all be pissed about, or some warning about a girl who had such-and-such happen to her while walking to her car... is completely made-up (welcome to snopes.com). (2) are blatantly slamming some political party for one reason or another, and making me less and less excited for the day i actually have to decide which "side" i'm really on. or (3) make fun of canada... harr harr... so unique. so witty and clever. *eye roll*

i also thought about discussing my most recent trip to target, and how it wasn't any fun... because i am preparing to move to DC... where i will be poor, because a gallon of milk costs as much as a tank of gas (ok, not really). ANYway... we're being "responsible" (aka. shopping sucks).

or there was the one where i was going to talk about how i was starting to realize that my self-esteem was unhealthy linked to the number of people who left comments on my blog or notes on my facebook profile. and then i got a life.

and the list of ideas that didn't make it to a post goes on. mostly it's a list of things that annoyed me, and i thought maybe it would be fun to complain about them. :) i kind of do a lot of that, huh? i really am a generally happy person, i promise... but annoying things are much more entertaining to poke fun at.

so ya... clearly, my blog is called "ramblings" for a reason. :)

i know what you did...

2007-10-25T17:12:00.000-04:00

so... it's question time again. where i ask you a question and you wonder why on earth i'm asking it, but feel strangely compelled to answer it:

if someone walked up to you and completely seriously, no kidding around, said to you, "i know what you did..." what is the very first thing that would come to your mind that they might know about you?

'cause i GUARANTEE it would take you all of about 30 seconds to run through a list of scary possibilities in your head. come on people...

my list would include:

didn't read the assignments in my religion class at ricks college (10 years ago), but said i did and got credit for it... even after they said to be honest and gave us a huge guilt trip about it.
got a "b+" in my personal finance class (which i literally slept through every single class period... that i actually went to) because my friend "shared" his homework with me before each class.
wasn't really sick.
wasn't really busy.
really did see that you called.

so... what's on your list? :)

p.s. i'm trying to be better.

gasp

2007-10-24T19:24:00.000-04:00

like for real *GASP* ... like the kind of *gasp* you hear from the other room behind a closed door when someone who has ALMOST finished a fairly lengthy (and mildly entertaining, if i do say so myself) blog post and then hits what was supposed to be the "minimize" button in the top right hand corner of the internet browser window, but ACTUALLY ended up being the [x] button... and GONE people! GONE! is there anything more annoying in this whole world than writing something long and witty (wit that cannot be duplicated, i might add) and then losing it!??! i want to throw things. i want to curse. i want to write it all over again... but it's useless. it's gone. so long. time to go thaw some frozen chicken so i can make dinner... which also makes me want to throw things and curse, so maybe there are more annoying things in this world... this moment of the day is unexpectedly sucky.

bad client 101

2007-10-17T12:02:00.000-04:00

ok... so last week...

i sort of don't really feel like going into all the nitty gritty details of the exact reasons last week was hell. but let's just say that i have learned over the years that when trying to get people to complete a task in a very short window of time, the key is NOT to be a jerk about it. it's definitely not asking people to do MORE work. and i guarantee you that it's not saying things like "this is unacceptable" at the beginning and end of every email correspondence just because you like hearing yourself say it.

because if you do... people like myself might be tempted on 50+ occasions throughout a week to respond to said approach with the phrase "bite me" or "shove it" or maybe even "stick it where the sun don't shine". (i guess i had better clarify that this wasn't a person i work for, whom i was tempted to say this to... this was a client. a bad client. the abusive boyfriend kind. the kind that you keep working with over and over again because "he's changed... it'll be different this time" but they keep being a jerk. but you keep taking it because... well, you're stupid. anyway... just to clarify).

so... yes... last week was hell. yes... i worked 60+ hours last week. yes... most of that was in my pajamas, so none of you should really feel that sorry for me. but it's over now. back to normal. (still in my pajamas though). but seriously... i want my weekend back please!

the shafe's

2007-10-16T16:03:00.000-04:00

so today's the day... we've known the day was coming for quite some time now, and we keep getting little extensions and delays of the inevitable... but today our dear friends, ben and whitney (and my two favorite little boys) pack up their belongings and prepare to depart for california. we've had friends come and go, and we've had friends move away... but for some reason, this one is different. it's far away. we're living in what used to be their apartment. and they've been a really big part of our lives for the last 3+ years.

when i moved in to the ward, i was assigned as whitney's visiting teaching companion. she was very pregnant with her first, i was newly married... and we were pretty much the laziest visiting teachers ever. i think we did go once in the four months we were companions (so we're not TOTAL failures), but we didn't know each other... we weren't friends. frankly, i don't think we even tried. we were just busy.

a few months later, we were called to serve together in the ward's relief society presidency. many months, many meetings, and many sonoma diet meals together later... we found ourselves the best of friends. she introduced me to yoga... and put me to shame even at 9 months pregnant. we did the sonoma diet together and sucked on ice-cubes during the ten days of hell without sweets. when burton was in DC for 3 months while i had to stay in provo, she and ben took care of me. made me feel at home. they saved me from the insanity that is loneliness. and just last month, we were assigned as visiting teaching companions again... and we did it! and totally redeemed ourselves! :)

and then there's their boys... what can i say!? the first time joelie said "nana"... i was in love. and the first time he called burton "monkey"... i knew this love was forever. :) and how can anyone not love kadin the cuddler!? the greatest little hugger in the world. it amazes me how much these two little boys have grown since they entered our lives... and it's exciting and sad to think how much they will grow before we see them again. that's the trouble with living far away... we all stay relatively the same (at least i keep telling myself that), but kids grow up.

and so... as the shafer's head off on their new adventure, i couldn't let the opportunity pass to send a little shout out to my friends. we love you. we will miss you. my motivation to go to yoga has already severly suffered. :) we can't wait for our first shafer/rampton family vacation on the beach! drive safe. call us when you get there!

girls are crazy

2007-10-15T13:31:00.000-04:00

i just discovered my new favorite quote:

"for most of history, Anonymous was a woman."
(virginia woolf)

h - e - double hockey sticks

2007-10-12T00:52:00.000-04:00

next week, i'll tell you all about the week of hell i am in the middle of right now. until then, i miss you all, and i appreciate the little breaks of sanity you're providing when i get a chance to read your blogs. yeah for virtual friendships! :)

too much to do

2007-10-09T11:23:00.000-04:00

busy busy. work work. email. IM. email again. answer phone. IM. email. phone. email. phone. IM. IM. crap hits the fan. more emails. more phone calls. more IM. cosby show (shh). more emails. answer phone again. IM.

that about sums it up.

freshman sentiments

2007-10-01T23:04:00.000-04:00

maybe it's because it's been 10 years since my freshman year in college, and i'm feeling sentimental. maybe it's because burton is almost finished with school (7 months and counting) and we'll actually be leaving the college town bubble i've become so accustomed to living in over the past decade. maybe it's because i'm realizing so many friends are now gone or are on their way out. or maybe it's just because i have the greatest friends EVER! but whatever the case, i'm missing my friends.

i spent some of the day reading through old journals. i started writing in a journal in 9th grade. i was an avid journal writer all through highschool and college, and even a couple years after college. i've sort of sucked at it lately, but over the years i've accumulated 15 volumes of my journal. they range from incredibly embarrasing confessions of love for multiple boys to incredibly embarrasing confessions of love for the man i finally married. they contain detailed play-by-plays of roommate brawls and mushy play-by-plays of how so-and-so held my hand and then we slid closer on the couch and badda-bing badda-bang and then we kissed! so embarrasing.

but what it also contains is evidence of great friends. evidence of the amazing influence a handful of people have had on my life. total strangers who entered my life and soon became my best friends in the whole world.

the girls: we fought over boys, fought over clothes, fought over food and chores. we had food fights, water fights, screaming-crying-want-to-punch-her-in-the-face fights. but we laughed harder than i think i've ever laughed in my whole life. we had pillow talk. we compared cup sizes. we etched the initials of boys we'd kissed into the bunkbeds. we skipped school and stayed in our pajamas all day and watched 90210 reruns while eating pasta roni straight from the pot. we ate no-bake cookies 'til we could hardly walk anymore. we threw dance parties and got in trouble. we had breakfast parties and invited only boys -- like 40 of them. we locked all our doors, dressed up like hula dancers and danced on our coffee table to butt-rock classics. we went an entire month bumming toilet paper off other people, just to see if we could go a month without having to buy it. i love my girls.

the boys: my best "guy" friends were established pretty early and they remained my best guy friends throughout. we were total idiots together. we laughed a lot. we watched a lot of stupid movies. we said really dumb stuff all the time. they wrestled in my house. they ate our food. they drove us to the store. they took us out. they were always ready to give a priesthood blessing. they could be total dorks and make us laugh and didn't have to be "cool". they cared about us and could see us without our make-up on and they still thought we were great. i love my boys.

so anyway... it's really been 10 years. TEN years. i miss you all. i'm so glad you are all my friends and i'm so glad you're all happy! love you all dear friends! thanks for the fun times. ;)

just try to relax...

2007-09-26T18:53:00.001-04:00

ok... i'm sorry to bring this up again... but it's making me laugh. and i do realize that there are males who read my blog... you should probably just stop reading this one right now.

i just keep thinking about how humorous the whole yearly OBGYN experience is. i mean, ya... it's not actually humorous... it's more like... totally lame. but if you think about some of the things that are said or that you think during your OBGYN experience, it's pretty freaking funny.

like, for example, when you're taken in to the examination room, and they hand you two things: a sheet for your legs (which is actually an oversized papertowel) and a half gown for your top (which is also an oversized papertowel... with arm holes in it). and they say to you "you can put this top on either direction, it's up to you if you want it to open at the front or the back". seems simple enough. not that funny... until i found myself staring at it like it was some big decision. "well, i don't know... which way covers me up the most?" well, let's see... neither! really, i might as well have left it all on the chair and sat there naked, because frankly what you would like to remain covered is in fact about to be exposed.

or how about the point at which they say to you "ok... try to relax." ... ummmm! what?! how the crap am i supposed to be anywhere even NEAR a state of relaxation with what feels like an entire fist inside my uterus pushing all my pieces around?! i have a hard enough time relaxing when i'm lying in my bed at night, with all my clothes on and my legs in a totally normal position. THIS situation does not warrant relaxation.... EVER. so don't try to convince me of it, doc.

or what about the friendly chit chat about where i'm from and what my husband is studying in school while he's nearing second base under my "paper gown". i promise you, we are both keenly aware that the only purpose of this conversation is to fill the awkward silence of the moment.

anyway... you get my point. it's kinda funny. in a "it's been about a week since my appointment, so i've finally shaken the feeling of total violation" kind of way.

so, what's the funniest thing you've ever heard (or overheard) or said at the doctor's office?

curses

2007-09-22T22:06:00.000-04:00

yep... still hate thawing chicken.

hmmm...

2007-09-21T14:08:00.001-04:00

ok seriously... what in the world makes someone (man or woman... but particularly a man) wake up one morning and say to themselves... "you know, i think i want to be a gynaecologist..."?!

shoes off at the door rockstar!

2007-09-19T12:13:00.000-04:00

so, after taking a week-long break from blogging (for no reason, other than the fact that i had nothing really interesting to say), i've decided to return. still, nothing particularly interesting has happened. THOUGH....

we did get a new doorbell that makes me feel like i live in a seniors home everytime it rings (loud, long... unnecessarily obnoxious). and we did get some fun new stuff at IKEA... all hail IKEA. and we do have a dishwasher and a washing machine and a dryer now... which is basically the same thing as heaven. and we did get our new couches a couple of weeks ago, which i failed to mention, even though we've been waiting for said-couches since we bought them in MARCH (the store kindly held them until we had a place big enough to use them). oh, and did i mention they're white? well... maybe cream. but STILL... yes, we are the idiots who spent a small fortune on WHITE couches. as in, i will try really hard not to think about what may or may not be on the seat of your pants as you're in the process of sitting down on them. as in, i wear socks so i can put my feet on the couch and not worry about the dirt that has built up from a day of wearing flip-flops. as in, right now these couches are white, but in a couple of years they will be a dull and dingy gray. but right now, while they're still new and unsoiled... they're awesome. and you can still bring your kids over... we have a warranty.

OH! and the title of this blog post makes me laugh. when burton was on his mission in indiana, he came upon a door that had this sign hanging on it. so he took a picture with it... because, well... it's just kind of funny. anyway... i've decided i want to make this sign for my own door. i've sort of become a "shoes on in the house" kind of person in recent years. but with the new white couches and the carpet that's actually worth taking your shoes off for, i feel it's time to return to my canadian roots of taking my shoes off. but i don't want to be pretentious and snobbish about it and paint "please kindly remove your shoes" on some crafty piece of wood (not that any of my friends or family who do this are pretentious and snobbish... open mouth, insert foot)... i want something that gets the point across whilst bolstering their self-esteem; thus the added "rockstar" compliment at the end. i mean, really... who doesn't want to be a rockstar? AND when REAL rockstars come over, they'll know that they are not excluded from my rule. so... it's either this sign or i'm considering resurrecting my door hanging from the days of hanging signs on your bedroom door... it said "Stay Out"... which i think would be pretty funny -- and awesomely awkward -- to hang on your front door... don't you think?

so... what's new and exciting in your life? AND... if you could hang a sign on your door (or already do), what would it say?

nothing to say... wha?

2007-09-13T01:23:00.000-04:00

i'm bored. and nothing really interesting has happened in the last week or so... nobody's said anything particularly dim. i haven't been on any public transportation and seen anyone doing anything crazy. i haven't seen any crazy outfits or unusual hairstyles. no one has puked. no one has tried to convert me to a cult. i haven't run in to any mormons in unexpected places. though, of course i've run in to plenty of mormons. i haven't been stuck in traffic or gotten lost on my way to the grocery store...

i must be in provo.

and i have nothing to write about. and so instead of forcing you to read about the funny thing david letterman said or how many ankle stretches burton has done in the last 5 minutes... anyone have any requests? anyone have a question they've been dying to ask me? maybe a topic you'd be interested in reading about? a juicy story you've only heard rumors of, but you want to hear the whole story? anyone wanna fight about something?

aftermath

2007-09-11T17:24:00.000-04:00

for some reason, putting my thoughts about 9/11 into words has always been difficult for me. which is saying a lot, since i have that whole "can't shut up" issue. but it was all so overwhelming for me. it didn't affect me in the sense that i knew someone who died. i didn't even know someone who knew someone who died. but it affected me. i watched the news for days. i saw the same images over and over and over again. i cried. and i stared. and i cried more. i cried for the same reasons that i cried when i saw the images of people struggling to stay alive, desperately trying to find their family members, and walking through the rubble that was once their homes in the aftermath of hurricane katrina. for the same reasons i cried when i saw the images of people being washed away in the tsunami in thailand, and trekking from village to village looking for their loved ones on a wall of polaroids. and for the same reasons i cry when i see small children with guns slung over their shoulders, yelling and screaming and burning flags and spewing hatred at a world that has failed to love them.

my heart breaks.

it breaks for all the people who have died too soon. it breaks for all the family members left behind to grieve. it breaks for tragedies that can't be avoided and for those that could have been. it breaks for the people who have lost sight of true happiness in the lies of radical religion. for those who have lost children and siblings and parents to the evils of the world.

and the reality is that it doesn't matter where i was when i first heard about these tragedies. it doesn't matter who told me or what they said. what matters is that in the aftermath... in the worlds often overlooked and forgotten by the mainstream media, i saw people -- people of all walks of life -- come together to help each other in the face of adversity. this is what i try to remember.

grade 12... senior year... whatever...

2007-09-07T14:47:00.000-04:00

saw this post on ashby's blog... which you can only see if you're cool enough to have been invited :) ... and it seemed kinda fun. so here goes:

*** MY SENIOR YEAR (a.k.a. grade 12) ***

1. who were your best friends?
jessica, melissa, and emily

2. what sports did you play?
uh... does winning the stake basketball tournament count? how about playing volleyball with the missionaries?

3. what kind of car did you drive?
i wish. ok... well, not like these were my cars... but i drove my parents van (like a real van... like the kind with a bed and a tv and captain chairs in the back... you should've seen me parallel park that sucker... like a glove! passed my drivers test in this vehicle, i'll have you know), i drove my parents little tracker (and failed my drivers test twice in it... did i seriously just admit that?), and shortly after highschool my dad braved the "teach your daughter how to drive a stick" experience and i learned to drive our honda prelude.

4. on friday nights what were you doing?
sleepovers with the girls. church dances. going to parties and practicing the phrase "no thanks. i don't drink."

5. were you a party animal?
i didn't drink. i didn't do drugs. didn't smoke. my body was a temple and no one had a recommend. i was a major flirt and loved friends and stuff... but party animal. i don't think so.

6. were you considered a flirt?
see above. yes. yes, ok. yes i was.

7. were you in band, orchestra, or choir?
if there wasn't a trip to hawaii involved, i wasn't interested.

8. were you a nerd?
teachers pet, yes. nerd, no. dork... definitely.

9. did you get suspended/expelled?
i thought about this often. in my entire life, i was never ever even sent to the principals office. this fact sort of made me nervous, because i came to realize later on in my high school career, that should it ever happen, i would have no idea what to do and i would feel the need to ask the teacher "umm... so you said go to the principals office... exactly what do i do when i get there? do i sit down and wait? do i knock on the door? will you even know if i made it there?" and the teacher would think i was being a brat... but really... i had no idea. so no... never suspended or expelled. although... i did almost get kicked out of ricks college. that was fun. :)

10. can you still sing the fight song?
seriously... i didn't even know what a fight song was 'til i left canada. and i still don't really get it.

11. who was your favorite teacher?
mr. myhrer's - english teacher. we've been through this before. oh wait... he wasn't even my teacher my senior year... haha... ok favorite senior year teacher... hmm... nothing's really coming to mind. too much drama my senior year to worry about school. :)

12. where did you sit during lunch?
locker bays. outside. melissa's kitchen. oh... melissa and i used to go to her house and watch "remington steele" on our lunch breaks. haha. awesome.

13. name the school's full name?
dover bay secondary school

14. school mascot?
dolphin... doesn't that just strike fear in your mind?

15. school colors?
turquoise and white, maybe?

16. rival high school?
every other school in nanaimo. dover bay was sort of viewed as the rich kid school... so there were lots of enemies. and not that i was rich.

17. did you go to prom?
wow... i have no idea where to begin with this question, so i'm just going to leave it at "yes".

18. if you could go back and do it again, would you?
if i could go back to highschool and do it again, i would do it differently. but i don't think i'd be stoked about the idea. freshman and sophmore years at college though... definitely!

19. what do you remember most about graduation?
drama drama drama. girl likes boy (ok... many boys), boy likes different girl, girl's friend likes same boy(s), girls get in huge fights almost every day and then have sleepovers and are best friends again almost every night. boys. wow.

20. where did you go senior skip day?
i don't recall if this was something that happened at my highschool... if i did skip this day, i probably went to melissa's house and we probably ate food and watched tv or talked about boys while laying on the trampoline.

21. favorite memory?
stumped. but i'm sure it has to do with a boy.

22. were you in any clubs?
nope.

23. where did you go most often for lunch?
this is sort of a repeat question... moving on...

24. have you gained some weight since then?
hard to say. probably about the same actually. except what was once muscle is now some other substance i care not to talk about.

25. who was your senior prom date?
adam beaumont... or was it eric ellis... or were those melissa's dates? ;)

26. are you planning on going to your 10-year reunion?
came and went. didn't go, but reconnected with a bunch of people virtually. wish i could have been there.

27. who was your home room teacher?
no idea. did we have home room?

28. who will re-post this after you?
maybe whit... or jackie... or alison... i'm not sure...

29. who was your high school sweetheart?
hmmm... you want the whole list?

30. do you still talk to people from high school?
yep. quite a few actually.

31.did you win prom queen or king?
americans...

32. where did you work in high school?
i cleaned my dad's office once a week... yes, i was a janitor... for my dad.

33. what were your grades?
good. i did better when i got to college though.

34. what was your dress style?
i plead the 5th (which i can do, since i'm in the us)... but i will say it included the word "short" a lot.

35. what year did you graduate?
1996 -- geez.

okay, so here's the challenge... conjure up your best (and worst!) highschool memories and post this survey!

the incredible shrinking clothes!

2007-09-06T13:46:00.000-04:00

uh... any chance clothes can shrink just from sitting in a box for 4.5 months? 'cause for some unknown reason, everything is tighter....

don't say it... everything SHRUNK... ok!? that's my story and i'm sticking to it.

on another completely unrelated note, does anyone have or want a 24-hour fitness membership (besides whitney, who is sadly leaving me in a couple of weeks) who wants to be my new yoga buddy on tuesday and thursday nights? but not tonight... because i'd prefer to sit at home and contemplate how in the world my clothes shrunk.

i'm serious... i need a new yoga buddy. i just can't do it by myself. i have no self-discipline. i don't even care if we've never met and we're just blogger friends (though, i'm not going to explain to burton that's how we know each other or i'll get the smirk... and i don't want the smirk).

anyway... any takers?

proof that insanity is hereditary

2007-09-04T17:06:00.000-04:00

just when you thought the blogosphere couldn't possibly handle one more crazy person rambling about the nonsense in their head... my dad started a blog.

i promise you that the first thing that will go through your mind when you're done reading is "hmm... this explains so much!" :)

out from under the boxes

2007-09-04T12:05:00.000-04:00

for your information, and to brag a little that we have so many awesome friends... 5 family members + 8 friends = unloading 2 fully-loaded trucks and 2 fully-loaded trailers in THIRTY MINUTES! that has got to be a record. anyway... we're all moved in and life is starting to feel a little back to normal. que the hallelujah chorus.

so, after a few days of unpacking the mountain of boxes, setting up furniture, buying more furniture to assemble ('cause we love it so much), and trying to live amongst the chaos for a few days, we finally got to the point where we could start running normal errands... like grocery shopping. i felt giddy at the thought of getting in my car and driving the short 10-15 minute drive to super walmart (que the hallelujah chorus again). no DC traffic to fight with. no realization that walmart is just walmart in DC... nothing super about it. no GPS navigation system to bark commands at me while i make my way through the maze of DC streets. free at last!

however... have you ever been to walmart on labor day? as in, the day before school starts? my worst experiences at walmart in utah, historically, have been on saturdays... you know... saturday is a special day, it's the day we get ready for sunday... all at the same time all over this beautiful state. anyway, this was much worse than any saturday experience. i will say that i was impressed that most people were kind... which is more than i can say for most saturday experiences, but it was still crazy nonetheless. it was a mix of freshman with their parents buying all their school stuff and clearly excited for the new adventure and milking mom and dad for all they were worth, the seasoned college student back from a summer vacation and moping about buying groceries which they will forever feel the need to label with their initials, newly married college students having their first fight over which brand to buy, married students married more than at least 9 months chasing crazy kids all over the store, and the occasional average citizen shaking their head at the chaos. i got stuck behind a large hispanic woman who felt the need to take a "stroll" down the aisles and make passing impossible. i felt the tingles up my spine as the freshman females squealed and giggled from all sides. i searched and searched for the items on my list but found empty shelf after empty shelf. and to top it all off, i stood in line for THIRTY MINUTES to check out. i literally could have moved in to my new apartment in the time it took to check out at walmart.

anyway, all in all... it's good to be back. it's good to be home. it's good to see great friends. it's nice to have my bed back and my clothes back and my box of random crap i can't throw away back. yeah for provo. :)

loathing

2007-09-01T01:57:00.000-04:00

have i ever mentioned how much i HATE moving? ... 'cause i do.

where do jeans go when they die?

2007-08-28T20:13:00.000-04:00

sitting in the car yesterday, looking down at the hole beginning to form in my favorite pair of jeans, i couldn't help but feel a certain sense of looming depression. not again. i'm not ready for this again. i'm not ready to lose another pair of jeans to the bottom of the drawer... to the place where "jeans i might pull out someday when i need something to wear with holes in it" go. this place isn't reserved for jeans that can be taken to DI... this is for favorite jeans with ameritus status. i'm just not ready for this. because the maker of favorite jeans plays a cruel joke on the world each time this happens: DISCONTINUED. this word means the end of comfort for a time. the end of getting home from church, tearing off the fancy clothes and reverting to the lazy pleasure that only favorite jeans can provide. it means it is time once again to stand in dressing room after dressing room throwing pair of jeans after pair of jeans on to the heaping pile of misery that is looking for the perfect fit. it means coming to grips with the fact that what once fit well is now out of my league. i can't do this. it's just too soon.

i say too-more-oh, you say ta-mar-oh

2007-08-25T12:20:00.001-04:00

what is it about pronunciation and word choice that gets people all riled up and defensive? it seems that it's never about enjoying our diversity or uniqueness... it's about being right or wrong. who is saying it correctly and who is saying it "funny"? and you may be saying to yourself "i don't get defensive. what do i have to get defensive about? i don't say words with a funny accent... " but i promise you, there are words you say that people would think sound odd, and the second they pointed it out to you... you'd have something to say about it.

ten years ago, i packed up my belongings and headed to idaho for college. unaware that canadians even had an accent, i found it funny that people were constantly pointing mine out. "say ABOUT ... say TOMORROW ... say SORRY ... " are these people crazy? i say these words just like them!? -- i know now that this was false. slowly but surely the american accent made its way in, and my canadian accent made its way out. and soon my canadian friends were making fun of my american accent. "how's U-taaaw? i'm Saawree!" but the crazy thing is... the americans never stopped making fun of my occasional "mispronunciation". so now, i get it from both sides.

for your enjoyment (or my inability to filter out things that aren't really that interesting), here are a few of the changes i subconsciously and consciously made over the last ten years:

so-rry is now saw-rry
too-more-oh is now ta-mar-oh
grade 12 is now 12th grade (or "my senior year")
fleg is now flay-g (though, literally my mouth was not made to say this word with an american accent)
have a shower is now take a shower
write a test is now take a test
which r-OOTe are you taking? is now which r-OUTe are you taking?
washroom is now restroom
marks are now grades

and the list goes on and on.

so... who's right? and why in the world do we care? ... who knows... but we do!

so i'm going to do a little experiment on pronunciation (mostly to settle a little marital dispute. haha.) i want you to listen to the following audio pronunications and tell me what you hear:

do you think "ultimate" is said with an UHL sound or an OHL sound?
do you think "alternator" is said with an ALL sound or an UHL sound?

and seriously... i assure you, there is no T at the end of across!

RULDS2?

2007-08-15T19:13:00.000-04:00

it was the summer of 1995 and my girlfriends and i were on our way to a flirt-filled week in rexburg, idaho at EFY (mormons love their acronyms... and this one stands for especially for youth). and since we were 16 and our parents were totally insane, the four of us DROVE to rexburg from british columbia in a sweet old VW van... alone. as in, by ourselves. SIXTEEN. anyway, not the point of this post. the point of this post is my earliest recollection of what has been dubbed the "mormon-radar"...

growing up on vancouver island, there was no need for the mormon-radar. if there was a mormon on the island, i knew them. my parents had probably grown up with their parents, we attended all the same activities... there was no such thing as "are you mormon?" for me in my early years, because i already knew the answer. so on this little roadtrip, for some reason, something on someone's car triggered the chain reaction in our car "hey! do you think they're mormon? ... i think they're mormon ... hey, how do we find out if they're mormon?" now, these guys in the car were probably from utah and had no clue why we would even care if they were mormon, since everyone they knew was mormon... but for us, it was like spotting a moose in the forest (which i happen to think is pretty cool... but may be a weird comparison to some i suppose. haha). so, we determined that since we were driving down the freeway at 80 miles an hour, our best bet was to make a sign. yes, folks. a sign. so we took a pen and an 8.5" x 11" piece of paper and wrote "Are you LDS?" on it. and we got a positive response. and we thought that was just so great. haha.

so that's my first experience, with many more to come. moving to rexburg for college was like being on mormon-caffeine (is that allowed?)... it was mormons on overload. it was great. everyone was mormon. it was like one big EFY for two whole years. then i moved on to utah... and i've been here for *gulp*... EIGHT years. so needless to say, i have become desensitized to the excitement of being surrounded by mormons -- though, i'm not complaining... i happen to like mormons. :) so, it wasn't until i started to go outside of utah again that i began to realize i had developed a keen sense for detecting mormons.

case in point... i am standing in the middle of the craziness that is the sistine chapel in rome, where supposedly everyone was supposed to be quiet... except the guy with the bull-horn who kept yelling "BE QUIET. NO PICTURES PLEASE. BE QUIET!" again... not the point of this post. so, i spot a woman bending down next to a little girl, pointing to the center of the ceiling, and i overhear her say, "see... there's Adam and Heavenly Father..." BINGO! i know other people say Heavenly Father... but THAT my friends, is what we call a signal. so i poke burton and say "she's mormon", but i don't say anything. about 30 seconds later, i'm standing behind another woman who has a peculiar under-garment line... much akin to my own... and i poke her in the shoulder. "are you mormon?" and she says "YES! how did you know?" and i explained "well, i could see the lines... etc etc" and it turns out she was with the other woman (i KNEW it) and we all chatted for about 10 minutes and they told us we should move to st. louis and move in to their ward... and we were instant best friends. so great. i love mormons.

then there was the mormon encounter at the staten island ferry, which i mentioned in a previous post. and then there was the guy on the metro in DC, on our way home from NY, who was clearly mormon. one word: mesh.

in addition to the mormon-radar, we mormons also have a game called "do you know?" and it is also incredibly fascinating. put two mormons who are total strangers in a room and give them about 20 minutes, and they will walk out with a list of people they know in common. mission companions. college roommates. old boy/girlfriends. they've probably been to the same parties and maybe even dated the same people. i promise you! and THEN give a mormon a blog and they'll quickly discover more connections than you can count.

so... if you're in the mood to sharpen your mormon-radar, here are my top 10 tell-tale signs:

1. CTR rings (more acronyms... CTR stands for choose the right, of course!)
2. married, children, long shorts, sleeves... this combination is a dead give-away
3. wearing more than one layer of clothing in 105 degree weather
4. bright eyes and a perky smile
5. although a rare breed these days... a man still sporting a part in his hair
6. you overhear them ask "do you have caffeine-free diet coke?"
7. virgin cocktails (unless they're pregnant... which could also be a sign)
8. fry-sauce... which is basically just people from utah, but it narrows it down
9. an uncanny need to turn everything in to an acronym
10. horns... ;) JUST kidding... though, i've heard rumors...

happy hunting!

3 years down... eternity to go

2007-08-14T17:40:00.001-04:00

2:00 AM on aug 14, 2004, three years ago today, i sat in my great-aunt's bathroom with my girlfriends, trying to figure out what in the world to do with my hair the next morning. we found something that worked, and called it a night. i climbed in to bed with my best friend, jessica, and we chatted until we couldn't keep our eyes open anymore. 16 years of sleepovers, sharing bunkbeds in college, sleeping head-to-toe even in to our 20s... i couldn't have asked for anything more perfect than to have her with me the night before my wedding.

i was up by 5:30, getting showered, doing my make-up, having my hair done, trying really hard to just enjoy the day and not get stressed. trying really hard not to look anyone in the eyes too long and start to get misty eyed and smudge my mascara. a couple hours of preparation, speeding to the temple, going through the step-by-step process of signing documents, showing recommends, putting on the wedding attire, all leading up to the moment we saw each other for the first time right before the ceremony. my heart fluttered.

walking through the doors and seeing everyone we loved in one room was breathtaking. i tried so hard not to cry. our ceremony was perfect. it felt like the man who performed our temple ceremony had been hand-picked by the Lord himself. and i often reflect on his words of advice and counsel.

it's amazing to look back on that day and realize what a leap of faith we were making. we were in love. we were excited to be married. we were best friends and had been developing that friendship for years. we had little understanding of what we were about to embark on, but we held hands and took the plunge together.

everyday since then has been better than the last. not to say that everyday is toasts and wedding cake, but everyday we learn and we grow and we stretch each other a little more. we move a little closer to being "one" the way we know the Lord wants us to be. we make mistakes. we ask forgiveness. we offer forgiveness. we laugh. we have gotten more and more silly and bizarre with each day that passes. we have travelled together, gotten lost in foreign countries together, cried over negative pregnancy tests together. we have fought over the covers, argued over lyrics, disagreed about how to approach certain issues. we have compromised. we have sacrificed. we have been selfish and selfless. we have wrestled and hugged. yelled and spoken kindly. been independent and worked together. been lazy and worked hard. we are still in love. we are still excited to be married. and we are even better friends. we have so many more adventures to look forward to. what an awesome journey we're on together.

i love you monkey. happy anniversary.

what would you do?

2007-08-13T12:49:00.000-04:00

so... i have a question. it's a tough one... and you're welcome to make your comments anonymous, because... well... you'll see. but i really want to know what you would do. i'm not going to tell you what i would do (or did)... or at least not yet... but this happened to me TWICE on my drive home to utah (and it's happened to me numerous times throughout my life). so... here's the scenario:

you walk in to the public bathroom. it's a fairly typical gas station / fast food bathroom with two or three stalls, a sink strewn with paper towels, slightly dirty floors, large toilet paper dispensers... the usual. you have your purse slung over your shoulder, and you enter the first stall. you take a seat, take a tinkle, grab for the toilet paper, and... there's no toilet paper. sudden panic hits you as you realize your options are slim to none. you have paper in your purse, on which a map has been printed -- you don't need the map anymore, though PAPER and toilet paper are far from the same thing. you see a few "clean looking" sections of toilet paper hanging out of the "unmentionables trash bin". you see a few "clean looking" sections of toilet paper lying on the floor next to the toilet -- they appear to have come from someone's over-zealous attempt to pull toilet paper off the roll, but ended up with too much in their hand (not sure i will ever understand the logic that encourages someone to just drop it on the floor). you have two other stalls next to you and no one is currently in the bathroom with you, though someone could walk through the door any second and catch you shuffling to the next stall with your pants around your knees. and then there's obviously the option to wait out the "drips"... which all women know, takes a very long time and is almost impossible. AND you still have about 12 hours left to go on a very long roadtrip.

so... think about it... don't tell me "i wouldn't use a public bathroom" or "this is why i always carry toilet paper in my purse"... let's say, you've reached the brink and succumbed to the public bathroom, and there are no other alternatives other than those mentioned above.

what would you do? what have you done? i know you've had this experience!

five more things... well technically 30...

2007-08-08T09:11:00.000-04:00

it's been awhile... but i've been tagged by esther. so here goes...

five things i was doing 10 years ago:
1. working my way up the corporate ladder at staples.
2. thinking, dreaming, crying, laughing, fighting... about boys.
3. preparing to leave for college... i thought i'd be going for one semester, maybe two. who knew...
4. sending a boyfriend off to be a missionary.
5. discovering email and instant messenger. so weird.

five songs i know the lyrics to:
1. the theme song to "the fresh prince"
2. ganstas paradise (coolio)
3. come as you are (nirvana)
4. zombie (cranberries)
5. today (smashing pumpkins)
this is not a reflection of my favorite songs, per sa, but simply a reflection of the era in which i grew up. :)

five things i would buy if i were a millionaire:
1. a second car.
2. a modest size home, but with all the furniture and trimmings i covet in the catalogs i currently order to torture myself with.
3. patience... you can buy that right?
4. let's be honest... clothes, clothes, and when that got boring... more clothes.
5. stock. 'cause i'm boring like that.

five things i would never wear again:
1. boxer shorts and baggy jeans. yes, i am female... don't ask.
2. belly shirts, mini skirts, and daisy dukes. not that i ever wore those, Mom. ;)
3. burkenstocks. ok... FAKE burkenstocks. i never had real ones.
4. scrunchies. who decided that looked good?
5. braided belts. i shutter at the thought.

five things i would like to do:
1. travel travel travel. egypt, jerusalem, japan, china, russia, back to greece, more italy, more paris, more more more please.
2. write a book.
3. actually print some digital pictures.
4. go home to canada more often. i miss my family, my friends, the rain, the ocean...
5. finish reading a book. (it does happen... just not very often)

five favorite toys:
1. i have a soft spot for stuffed animals.
2. barbie. alright. i love barbie.
3. can we talk about a toy i HATE for a second... 'cause that would be BRATZ dolls. the person who came up with that idea should be shot.
4. lego
5. i could kill anyone at super mario cart!

five people i tag:
if you're reading this... do it.

who are the people in your neighborhood...

2007-08-07T10:21:00.000-04:00

i heart new york. though, it's a little dirty for me and humid and dirty and humid... did i mention dirty? but there's just something about new york you have to love. and it's not their subways. but it is something. i have to say that i enjoyed the people. now, some of the people weren't new yorkers, and "enjoyed" can also mean that i liked to watch them because they were entertaining and weird... but nonetheless, i enjoyed the people:

there was famous tony. he was our bus driver and sang sweet songs marvin-gay-style to the ladies on the bus.

there was lee. he was a fellow passanger on the bus who drives between dc and ny every single week for work and then to be with his family on the weekends. he was the nicest guy and made sure we got where we needed to go in ny... because frankly, we had no clue where we were going.

there was the owner of the italian restaurant who saw us waiting for a table--luggage in hand--and offered his trunk for us to leave our luggage in while we ate. and then said "you don't mind if i sell it on eBay, right?"

then there was the couple making out in the dirty subway. something about making out in a subway where i felt the need to use hand sanitizer every 30 seconds just didn't appeal to me... but they were having fun and we were enjoying laughing about it.

i could write an entire post about earth angel. we got on the subway, and in walks richard simmons' evil twin brother. that or gene simmons... it was hard to tell. dressed in red from head to toe, long puffy dark hair held together at the bottom by a single elastic-band, short frizzy bangs... and did i mention he was holding up a cardboard shield with a red angel and the words "earth angel" painted on it? he yelled at the top of his lungs that he had been sent to earth to deliver a message from Jesus Christ, and that his shield was there to protect him from looking at us lowly mortals. then he yelled something about wanting only women under the age of 29 to follow him; and before i could jump off my bench and join his ministry, he left the subway car. dang it.

then we met kathy, the albanian waitress in the weirdest burger joint / dentist office i've ever been in. so it wasn't really a dentist office... but it was a burger joint that was decorated like a dentist office... and the prices on the menu were the weirdest prices i've ever seen in my life. burger = $6.50 ... but if you want tomato that will be an extra $0.85 and if you want lettuce that's gonna cost you another $0.60... and don't forget about the cheese, that's another $1.50.

we met peter, the british real estate agent while trying to locate the nearest subway entrance. SUPER nice guy. he walked with us for about 4 blocks to take us to the entrance. we talked about real estate, economics, politics... and then he gave us his business card before letting us get on the subway and told us to look him up if we moved to manhattan and needed a real estate agent. but what he didn't know is that we're mormon and melinda was prepared with a pass-along card of her own and invited him to learn more about the LDS church. it was a nice little exchange and he was very impressed with melinda's schpeel. as was i.

speaking of mormons... while standing in line to take the staten island ferry, we located some mormons with our unexplainable mormon-radar. it was a couple, their baby in a stroller and their sister-in-law. maybe it was the white t-shirt under his orange t-shirt... maybe it was the baby in the stroller... maybe it was the twinkle in their eyes... but we threw out the bait that we were from utah, and they exchanged glances and asked what we had all been dying to know: "are you mormon?" how do we do it? i don't get it.

my favorite was the individual we dubbed taylor's boyfriend. he was wearing a bright pink tank top, had beautiful dark skin and was wearing more make-up than i was. he poked our friend taylor in the shoulder while we were standing on the staten island ferry and asked "is that pink or peach?" referring to his shirt... taylor responded "i think it's salmon"... which may or may not have sent the wrong signal.

and last but not least... jean, the bus driver who took us home. who was large and in charge and who didn't stop talking the entire drive home. who almost flew out of his driver's seat everytime the bus bounced. it literally looked like he was in a jolly-jumper and i wanted a video camera so badly.

and that's why i heart new york. that and the cheap knock-off purses for sale on the streets.

the metro in quotations

2007-08-03T09:23:00.000-04:00

just when i thought i'd run out of things to blog about... i took the LAST metro home last night...

"we can take the metro. no big deal."
burton and i, as we're leaving the movie theatre and dismissing an offer for a ride home from his brother.

"you should be fine. the last metro leaves Metro Center about 12:15"
the lady working in the booth at the metro entrance. oh... and that's AM... as in we're getting ON the metro after mid-night.

"we better run"
burton, as we're standing at the door of the train waiting to get out, because if we miss the change at metro center, we're sca-rewed.

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSS!!!! we MADE it!!!!"
the entertainment for the evening, as he arrived on the metro car.

"she wouldn't give me the pump fist"
same kid, after he'd walked passed everyone in our metro car and given them the "rock" because they were on the train too and had made it, just like him. he was excited. and wearing a bright yellow "west virginia" jersey. and clearly VERY drunk... a really happy drunk.

"18? uh... higher... higher... uh... i'm 25..."
the drunken west virginian after an irish man on my right asked him his age... and started out at 18... i have no idea why. ;)

"i'm from west virginia. come on... give me your best west virginia joke"
the drunken west virginian, taunting some kid from pennsylvania, who turned around and mumbled some joke about his sister.

"what was the joke. i didn't hear it"
the irish-man, asking the drunken west virginian, what the penn state mumbler said.

"he said INcest... like inbreeding... like, as in brother and sister"
spoken very loudly by drunken west virginian. yes... i'm familiar with what inbreeding means... but thank you for clarifying it... in so many ways.

"everyone looks like they're going to the library"
yes... yes we do... why?! because the metro is not a bar and because it's 12:15 in the freaking morning and i am tired and you are loud and everyone is trying really hard to IGNORE you.

"you gonna be ok?"
kind-hearted football player, as he puts his hand on the shoulder of a woman (who was totally zoned-out) sitting across from us, right before exiting the metro car.

"i think i'm gonna move"
another woman sitting right across from us, immediately after zoned-out woman turned her head slightly and puked her guts out on the floor of the metro.

"this metro car is no longer in service. please exit the train."
um... what!? so everyone gets off the train and stands on the platform like idiots. like hundreds of us. does anyone come to tell us what's going on? no... of course not, it's only 1:00 AM... why would we care if another train was coming?

"blah blah blah mumble mumble mumble train blah blah. thank you"
a voice over the loud speaker... oh... did i mention LOUD? who the crap decides the volume on the metro speaker? because i would like to talk to that person and try to understand why clarity has been sacrificed for volume. but apparently it said something about the next train coming, because it showed up a few minutes later and we all got on.

"you doing ok dude?"
uh oh... don't like the sound of that. a chubby white guy, turning to his really big black buddy sitting across the aisle from us, with his head in his hands and bottom lip drooping to his knees. not good. not good at all.

"he really likes to party"
chubby white friend, directed to us... immediately after big black buddy barfed his brains out on the floor of the metro.

"at least he puked where there's already a stain"
brilliant. yet true. and very profound. chubby white friend said what i had been thinking since the first girl puked. there were stains. all over the floor. and since no one is allowed to have food or drink on the metro, one can only assume...

so... the moral of the story is four fold:

(1) we're not in provo anymore.

(2) don't take the last metro train home... even on a thursday night.

(3) "no food or drink" on the metro apparently doesn't pertain to food or drink already consumed.

(4) don't touch ANYthing on the metro. ANYTHING! ever...

talkee talkee, no more talkee

2007-07-27T10:59:00.000-04:00

CRAP! i'm pretty sure, after some careful self-reflection, that i've determined... i talk too much. it's always been pretty clear that i like to talk. i started to talk pretty early; i spoke in full sentences pretty early; i caught unsuspecting elderly gentlemen off-guard as a toddler with my confident statements: "ooo! i really like your car!" ... and then in school and in church... you could always count on janaya to have something to say about whatever was being discussed. being one of a handful of mormon's in my highschool, i was always the first to tackle debates from a religious perspective. being one of a million mormon's in my university, i was always the first to say "you can't use 'well, nephi said...' to win an argument!" if there's an issue on the table, i'm going to jump on it... and talk it to death.

in recent years, i've tried to show restraint. i've taken the "interpersonal communications" classes in college. i've learned that listening is an important part of discussion. i've learned that you should seek to understand before you seek to be understood. i've learned all that. i've had moderate success with all that. but i've recently realized that one of the key ingredients to my disdain for people who talk too much is that it's taking away from MY talk time. CRAP!

and i think this problem is being fueled by my blog. because now, i am actually convinced that people WANT to hear the random stuff going on in my head. it's not like i'm necessarily "bragging" or "boasting" (had to look up the official definitions of those two words, just to be sure i'm being honest with myself about that)... it's just that i'm talking... talking... talking. about myself. what i'm thinking. what i've been doing. what's new in my "really interesting" life. most of the time, what i'm saying is actually unveiling how crazy and retarded i am... so it's not even like there's some benefit to my talking too much. :) i just like talking.

i guess actually, the reality is... i like discussing. i like a good heated discussion. but sometimes, i'll be mid-discussion and realize "holy crap! am i STILL talking?! shut up!"... so it's not even that i have a love of HEARING myself talk... i just can't stop. take church, for example. i LOVE teaching in church, because there's discussion... i HATE giving talks in church, because right around the 5 or 6 minute mark, i start to get annoyed with my own voice and i'm bored with just hearing myself. BUT... whatever the situation... i talk too much. and this has got to stop.

so, i'm committing to the world wide blogosphere... i will listen more. and talk less. unless i have something really good to say... then you'll just have to deal with it. :P

flip flop

2007-07-24T13:46:00.000-04:00

due to recent events, i have changed my position on lindsay lohan. :)

Lindsay Lohan Arrested for DUI, Cocaine Possession
Released on $25,000 Bail

SANTA MONICA, July 24, 2007 (KABC-TV) - Just two weeks after completing a second rehab stint, actress Lindsay Lohan was arrested in Santa Monica early Tuesday on suspicion of drunken driving and cocaine possession.